What you should never do while driving (after having witnessed all of these)
Talk on the cell phones
Have a direct eye-to-eye conversation with the person in your backseat
Clip coupons out of the Sunday paper
Change clothes (unless you are at a very red stoplight)
Brush your hair
Apply makeup - especially mascara (You don’t understand how tempting it is to slam on my breaks when I see some dunderhead painting her face. I want them to hit me and have that stupid little wand pierce their small brains)
Use the cell phone
Drink out of a brown paper bad
Masturbate
Look at BBW nudie mags
Dring afternoon tea out of a cup and saucer (there are thermoses for a reason)
Use the cell phone
I yell at people who are driving while talking on the phone all the time. I really don’t understand what’s so fucking important. An emergency, I understand. But you don’t need to call your best friend on the way home because you are bored with the driving experience. If you paid more attention to what you were doing you would realize how challenging it is to navigate the roads of Orlando, which are clogged by self-absorbed shits on phones.
I don’t own one. If I did own one it would be more because it was a gadget. I don’t like the phone. I like e-mail, instant messages, and face-to-face converations. If you notice, I don’t really call anyone (save Alexis and Mom). Phones suck. End of story.
I am wearing pajama pants at work. I couldn’t find a clean pair of jeans so I just threw these on and I have to say - I’m damn comfortable. There should be “wear your pajama’s to work” day. The only people who would be excluded are those who sleep naked. I sleep in various states of dress. I love my duvet and it’s pretty hot so in the summer I am nekkid. I wore a t-shirt to bed last night. I can’t wear socks to bed. I always kick them off. When I sleep, my feet regulate my temperature, so oftentimes they are sticking out of the blankets. I love beds, sleeping, and pajamas.
And I love the fact that I have had 2 cups of coffee and my stomach doesn’t hurt!
