I can’t be eloquent under this kind of medication, not this. This is for those times when I want my skin to seem bizarrely luminescent and for the metallic taste in my mouth to accompany my fine doctor pepper.

Heavily medicated, I write to you. Post-panic attack. After David left his new job early to take me to see my shrink because I started twitching and I couldn’t stop and I scratched the back of my hand until it bruised. Until I couldn’t breathe from fear.

So if I spoke to you today or ignored your calls or somethiing that required conversation, please forgive me. I was not in my right mind. No not at all. I was in panic and the worst throes of a miscommunication between meds and my brain. See they aren’t cooperating and to quell unending movement I dillute the complulsion wiht two doses of a tranquilizer and a boatload of potato pancakes….(we bought them from Whole Foods two days ago).

I am going to remove myself from this little glowing computer so that I may rest with David who rescued me from the throes of madness (brought upon by new meds….damn them) and sleep away thisi night and the next and pray with my drugged mind to rest well, with a stomach that stops aching. It just won’t go away

I am sorry to some and thankful to some and I will iron it all out after sunrise.