I am the Queen Mother of attempted changes. I quit smoking, rode, ran, ate healthy and avoided booze. This weekend shone as an example of my lack of self discipline. Smoking and drinking thrived, punctuated by stress and laughter with friends. I have the best of intentions, but I can’t seem to follow through for myself. Resist the urge to smoke. Turn my cheek to wine (and beer). Ignore the whole box of Waffeletten in the fridge. Run instead of sleeping in. Some days I am just tired of being me – weak and full of intention with no follow through. It’s agonizing. Mondays are the days I always swear to change. If I could follow through I would be happy. Perhaps it will be this week, but I realize the change will only happen if I make it.
Lush smells like everything you could ever possibly think of with a big hint of stuff you may want to avoid. I admit to being intimidated by the wall of bath bombs and the huge wheels of soap (think of a cheese shop with the big, round, pungent cheeses). Being able to smell and touch the products allowed me to whittle down what I wanted and needed. I ended up with bigger hunks of still like Coalface and the Jungle conditioner because they are cutting off the massive hunks of soap and the pieces varied by weight. Unlike the uniform slices, these leaned heavily to the “holy shit that’s huge” side. It was nice to buy one huge hunk of scented soap instead of two smaller pieces. Although I love Lush, I hate the Florida Mall. It’s huge, overwhelming and populated by tons of people. I was glad to head home.
I have my presentation for Ren Art tomorrow. Vanya is my partner and we seem to work in different ways. She seems more interested in the historical and philosophical aspects of art, while I am a simpleton and love the light, perspective and colors offered. It’s hard doing group projects, because different people work in different ways. That is the way of things, but I feel very unprepared. It doesn’t help that I didn’t do as much work as I would have liked to this weekend. Regret is wasted; I just have to make up the time.
My chest is burning. I keep coughing and I have a wicked, nasty sinus headache. I feel like poop. It’s whiney-Erica time. Thanks for tuning in
