**Warning** this is a poorly written blog post. I am suffering from poor English skills, and not even coffee can save me**

I’m not a good critic of movies, nor of music. I love too much about both to hate certain clichés that populate the individual art forms. If you go to the theatre with me, I will probably exit the theatre gushing about this scene or that. Dialogue gets me, and music hits it home. It’s only after the sixth or seventh viewing that I can pick apart the bad acting or the weak plot line. My ability to suspend disbelief leaves me blind to the inadequacies of film. Like people, I find something good in all movies. There are some that I’ve thought were pure, trite crap. Bad animation, Foley art, and the use of obvious backdrops really toss me out of any narrative. If you obviously screw up the images and sound I get a little miffed.

There are specific movies that I remember because I hated them so much Spiderman is among them. Queen of the Damned is another. Moulin Rouge, Domino, and Alexander round out some of the ones I loathe the most. And I love some very, very cheesy and bad films.I admit that I love all of the Blade movies. That is the perfect case for my ability to see something good in a pile of gooey, geeky cheese. In the first one, Blade was a badass. Okay, so vampires shouldn’t be able to wear sunscreen and live, but I guess movies are allowed to rewrite myth. Oh, and I thought Whistler’s dialogue made the film, since Blade was busy being all stoic and strong. Then in the second, well again, fucking funny dialogue (“I feel like hammered shit”). Rom Pearlman also made that film really work for me. Rhienhardt and Whister’s arguments made me laugh. Some of that dialogue was just so wrong. Admittedly, the big vampire guy was a little plastic looking and the Reavers a touch funky, but I will never forget how horrified I was the first time I saw that mouth split open. Good good stuff. The third in that series is the weakest. I am more than willing to admit that. The plot’s meandering left me trying to grasp and understand the different story lines. I didn’t care about Blade in that movie when there was all of that fun tension and wit between Hannibal and Danica. Sure, I am looking at the good stuff when the obvious flaws are hard to ignore. I’m cool with that. I still like the movies.

I am a very poor movie-goer. Resident Evil (the first one) was heavy on the queso, but I kind of liked being a touch scared (I don’t do scary movies, at all) and I got into the action. Plus I’ve had a crush on Michele Rodriguez since “Girlfight.” I even like all of the Mumm movies. Don’t hate on my love of cheese. I know it’s there, trust me.

This all started because there are several films out there that I want to see. Among them are “Fearless” (Jet Li’s last movie), “Hollywoodland”, and “The Illusionist.” D and I probably won’t see any of them in the theatre. My ability to deal with rude people lessens every time we go to see a movie, so we often wait till Netflix has it. But when I do see these films, I will probably like them and I will gush about them over and over. Then again, maybe I will hate them, but probably not.