D and I walked the boys last night. There’s a house, pink and boxy, where a beagle lived. The parents, a husky man with a quick smile and a woman with a delicate frame, marveled at our boys. Their beagle didn’t like other dogs, lease of all ours. But I remember those chocolate eyes within a completely white face. We walk past that house all the time. Vanya lives just up the street, and there are a wide variety of dogs that sing to us from behind crushed vertical blinds. It’s amusing. But one day, the beagle in the pink house was gone. She didn’t bay at us from the downstairs window. I didn’t think of it, until last night.

I like walking past the pink house because that family loves beagles. I saw the man in the upstairs window, slowly closing the blinds. I almost waved. He was staring at us, and because they love the breed, I figured he would remember who we were. But the shade went down and we started to walk by. Then, from the side door, they burst out. Immediately, they reached out to the dogs, sitting on the concrete drive, trying to smother themselves in the energetic energy of our bouncy canines. In the past, if they were in the yard, they came over to say hello. This was different. I made conversation, inquiring about their beagle (their other one died in January) and they told me the dog passed away. She had a tumor in her stomach, and the vet gave her just weeks to live. They thought she wasn’t hungry and lethargic. Her stomach was filled with the tumor. And it broke my heart when they told me that they took her to the dog park on her last day, gave her pepperoni pizza and a milkshake. They indulged her and gave her everything she loved, and then they were with her when she passed. The vet said she was in pain. They wanted to spare her further agony.

I watched their eyes as they told me the story. The man with the quick smile turned from us, burying his face in the shadows, restless posture, and uneasy stance. She held Pip, smiling and cooing. We gave them the time to embrace the dogs. You could tell they missed their pups. I asked them if they were going to get more, but they said it was too soon and the wounds were too raw. We said goodnight after more smooshing and admiration of Puck’s mellow personality (obviously, there was no dog in sight or that they could scent). I left feeling very sad that the pink house on Vanya’s street will have a Christmas without a beagle, for the first time in fourteen years. I can’t shake the sadness I feel for them. We will never celebrate a birthday, Solstice, or Samhain without a beagle or a cat in the house. For us, they are a part of the family, and our family cannot be complete with some four-legged ball of energy tearing ass through the house or trying to navigate the intricacies of the garbage can.

On a completely unrelated note, I spoke with my birthdaughter last night. She’s doing better in school and went to her first school dance. I am still trying to figure out what “freak dancing” is. Booty dancing? She didn’t freak dance, but she knew kids that did (yeah right) and almost go kicked out the dance. No pictures, unfortunately. And I spoke with her father. His brother died and he’s heading back to Greece for the funeral. I’ve missed the sound of his voice. He exudes joy and he always giggles. It always brings a smile to my face. Now that the initial contact was made, it’s easier to just give them a call. Does that make any sense? I am cautious and careful, but I love the sound of her voice and I am very happy that she’s doing better in school. It is kind of a sisterly relationship, with me being the big sister, of course. She wants me to go West for her birthday, offering up her piggy bank to pay for it. It broke my heart a little to tell her that I couldn’t go, that I had to work and do all kinds of adult things. I hope she understands. But I don’t love her any less.

I have my grammar final tomorrow. I’m not stressed. Isn’t that weird? I think it’s because I went running this morning. Stability moves through me like a current of warm water, like a rush of vibrant blood. But right now, I have to go to a meeting. I think that will sap the energy out of me. Happy Tuesday.