Kudos to you if you know that song. It’s cheesy, and fun.
I did walk over 5 miles last night, and not because I thought it would be fun excersice. No, I locked my keys in Vader. On my way home from work, I ran by Starbucks on S Orange. I was craving a mocha and thought D could use a coffee after his bike ride. With my keys in my mouth, I juggled the two coffees and the pastries (I am a sucker for crumb cake and D loves banana muffies) and tried to get everything settled in the car — the coffees in the cup holders and the pastries nestled in my Chrome bag, safe from my high velocity turns and other erratic driving maneuvers. I would have been pissed if they fell onto the floor. Then, I locked the lock, dropped the keys on my bag and swung the door shut.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! 

I almost cried.  My phone, all of my phone numbers, my purse, my Chrome bag — all on the front driver’s seat. The keys were visible, the phone glowing, charging, pulsing, screaming “BREAK INTO THIS CAR!” The tears started to trickle. I wiped them away, went back into Starbucks, where the fabulous kids were nice enough to let me use the phone. I called three wrong numbers. I couldn’t remember any numbers, least of all D’s. I was stuck. It was around 5:45.

So, what does a stranded moron do? Walk. It’s not far, really. I chanted to myself for most of the trek.

The car will be okay
David is okay
The car will be okay 

David rode to work, so if he got a flat or something, he was kind of screwed. I was more worried about him than I was about myself, and I really didn’t want him to be mad at me.

To give you an idea of where the car was, I was behind Deli Planet, Starbucks and a Pizza Slut. Not a very good area. It is just too close to Michigan, where the rough and tumble stroll, and the cars zoom relentlessly. I walked through Delaney Park, Thorton Park, and Colonialtown, until I got to my house. I’d never been so happy to see Virginia Drive.
I learned some nice lessons in my walk.

• Things really aren’t as far as you think they are.
• Some Christmas lights aren’t that tacky but they still should be in storage by now.
• I want that iPhone from Apple, which I wouldn’t have left in the car. It’s just too pretty (I read about it before I left work).
• I am a fucking airhead.
• Some runners are very polite, others are complete douchebags.
• People should be cautious when they whip around neighborhood corners after dark.
• Crossing South Street on foot = very dangerous.
• Everyone with a dog, who is not on a cell phone, smiles.
• A lot of people walk their dogs while talking on cell phones.
• Most people don’t pick up the poop.
• Turn signals are a rarity, all over Orlando.
• There are many quirky, unobtrusive houses throughout those neighborhoods, but they are often eclipsed by the shitty new construction.
• I still mourn for the trees we lost in the Hurricanes.
• I miss living in Delaney Park.
• I am a fucking airhead.

When I got home, D was pretty frantic. He knew I was at a Starbucks because he checked out bank account, but he didn’t know which one it was. So, he was pretty freaked out when I walked in the door. He remembered that we had roadside assistance on Vader, so we called the number and they dispatched someone out to pop the lock. We got home sometime after 8, ate pizza, and I buried myself in my comforter and fell asleep. D wasn’t mad at me, and the dogs were happy to see me. And it worked itself out. But, if you leave your keys in your car, remember to bring your cellphone. It’ll keep you from having to walk home.

And some links of interest:

There is hope for me and the iPhone, which of course, I am lusting after. I scare myself with my consumerism.

Fucking hell, this is funny! 

And this is more for my viewing pleasure, but you may drool as well.