Moody Meow

Liberal, lunatic lassie, with mood swings and foot-in-mouth syndrome

Watch the hanging

Posted on | January 24, 2007 | 3 Comments

My emotions glow like a neon sign. I’m still trying to find a good use for this lack of control, but often, it gets me in trouble. Apparently living on the edge of a breakdown scares people. You see: emotionally unstable. I see the fires of possibility burning brightly.

Now that I’ve completely lost the original track….

This started with my emotions.

There is someone I really don’t like out there. They fan the fires of my rage, gently pushing me towards a full-on hissyfit. For the last few years, the fights have been subtle, each of us remaining somewhat dignified. They poked me in the side when no one was looking, and I kicked them under the table, and stuck out my tongue for good measure. Lately, I’ve been losing the quiet war. For weeks, I’ve fumed had tantrums, and ranted about the slights against me. But someone else came into the picture – the noose-carrier, who is bigger than both of us. The  little dog that’s been nipping at my backside for ages, got a big bite in the ass. I watched the hanging begin. The rope extended as  noose-carrier spoke to both of us about an effort that included us all. It was a situation that required cooperation, but the little dog seemed hell bent on pissing the noose-carrier off. I almost laughed when the little dog got kicked in the teeth, and strung up, bound by puppy pride, ego and a stubborn attitude. The little dog’s smooshed superiority complex made me smile — a LOT. And now, I am happy with my emotions, and instead of poking me in the side today, they actually smiled. I know this is fragmented and obtuse, so I guess the best explanation is — sometimes people get what they give and that makes me happy.

The world has been weighing heavily on my mind. Global warming, a government guided by a delusional leader, the state of health care, the stigma of mental illness, growing old… it makes me want to crawl in a hole for the rest of my life. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed, and right now I am trying not to drown in my fears. It’s one step in front of the other, and if I have time, I dive into the happy escapism of FF. At least in that world, I get to ride a big bird.

Category: Contemplation, Hissy Fit!

Comments

3 Responses to “Watch the hanging”

  1. Claire
    January 24th, 2007 @ 4:02 pm

    I really need an online game to get into. I have felt sort of empty without something like that lately. Sigh.

  2. Frankie
    January 25th, 2007 @ 12:48 am

    Nice post. It really speaks of what is true in life if you ask me.

  3. Master of the T
    January 25th, 2007 @ 1:11 am

    I enjoyed that, as well…it’s scary that I knew exactly what you were talking about…but then again maybe it just means I pay attention.

    Someone tried talking to me about the State of the Union address last night and I started getting that overwhelming, chest crushing sensation. Some days I take on a good heated political debate with open arms and shin kicking readiness and other days…my sanity is more important.

Leave a Reply





  •  

    February 2012
    M T W T F S S
    « Dec    
     12345
    6789101112
    13141516171819
    20212223242526
    272829  

  • Tags

    365 days of 31 words 365 days of 31 words Amandapants animals Battlestar beagles birthdays bullshit cable cats celebration comics Contemplation David editing Everyday family Florida friends friendship gadgets haircuts Happiness holidaze hope Ikea job junting jobs link Links lists love memories mundane novel pain Photo photos root canal school social networking unemployment video whine writing

  • The Past

  • Meta