Small notes for the end of the week

Posted on | January 26, 2007 | 1 Comment

I’ve been quiet, not because I have nothing to say, I’m just in that kind of space. But there are small things that I can comment on.

• Grammar — When I think I have a grasp of things, some frightening memory pops up and I start to fear for my GPA. I shouldn’t be so worried, I know. If I study, all will be well. My brain resists all introduction of new grammar material. Failure has scarred me. It’s my mind against my fear, and I am sure that my desire for redemption will win out, but I can’t stop that little whisper from my demons. If I play my music louder, perhaps I can drown them out.
• Waking to the chill — I think it should be against the law to be forced from a satisfying slumber just to go to work. The house held a slight chill, and I didn’t want to emerge from my duvet. A dog or two (I honestly don’t know if there was more than one) rested on my shoulder. They are good sleeping companions – little fuzzy heaters. My mood crashed when I came out of the steamy bathroom, my hair dripping icy water down my spine. The grumposaurus came out. The temper tantrum almost began. It’s just unfair. My good sleep comes so rarely these days. *pout*
• Purple tree — I don’t know what kind of tree it is. The individual leaves are small, teardrop shaped, and the sprout from a central vein, almost like a fern. But in spring, when the leaves glow with green, purple flowers grow. As the spring passes, the flowers fall into the courtyard, like confetti. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say about the flowers, but they are beautiful and soft – like silk. Someone mentioned them yesterday, as we all tried to finish our homework (10 minutes before class) and I remembered the years I’ve spent in that courtyard. Workshop groups, laughter, the occasional political arguments, coffee, the revelation of fears and longing – the courtyard in Orlando Hall is my favorite place at Rollins. I can chart my journey through the transition of that tree. And this time, this spring, those purple flowers will be the last time for me. It’s bittersweet, but I can’t wait to see those flowers fall.
• David — you are my Saturday.
• Movies – D and I intended on going to the movies last night. Everyone I know has seen Pan’s Labyrinth! My ambitious plan to see it, after class and dinner, ended up being too much for me. Exhausting overwhelms me on Thursdays. It’s the end of my school week, and I am at work at 6:30 every Thursday so that I can get out early for class. D and I had some tasty thai, and we went home. I buried myself in my blankets, nearly fell asleep playing FF. And the movies have been moved to this weekend. Tonight, Pan’s Labyrinth. There is another movie I want to see, but we will see if I will make it.

And now, I shall finish my work day. Have a nice weekend.

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