The drama from last weeks seems to have settled down. I get very uneasy when people get overly intrusive. People know I can get mean, and if I feel the least bit cornered, I’m not much of a nice person. The sad thing is that I honestly believed that everyone knew the limits of time and inclusion. I guess I need to spell that out a little more. Of course, I don’t think this will happen again. At least, I hope it doesn’t. I just don’t have energy for that kind of drama.
Amanda and I spent most of Sunday scratching our heads, trying to figure out Chapter 4 in our grammar book. I hate the words “that” and “do” and anything passive. Oh! And I hate questions as well. If I didn’t like Dr. Dunn and Amanda and some of my other classmates, I would drop that class. Sometimes I wish that I had the smarts to take an easy class during my last semester. I’m on the edge of graduating with honors (and you can thank that whore of a humanities adjunct for yanking my grade down like a pair of soiled underwear. Yes, she exposed my ass to failure…at least in my mind. We hates her.) and I honestly didn’t think that honors would mean shit to me, but I feel like I need them to validate my work. Regardless…..I’m graduating. I guess that’s something.

I am at work with my headphones on. I mention this because it never happens. I am an admin, and as such, am required to answer the phones. I hate the phone, but it’s a part of my job. Fuck the phones!! Lamb and I are jamming out. I think the rednecks are more than a little surprised when they see me swaying in my office chair. There’s nothing like dancing in the office. Now, if only they’d let me take a nap. Mmmmm….. naps!

D and I watched Thank You For Smoking this weekend. I give it a B+.

For the coming weekend: Another field lab, homework, writing a paper, getting together the information for my term paper for the Novel class, studying for my botany quiz, and taking time out for myself. I need to remember to do that. Oh! And cleaning my office — it is scary right now. The cats took over. I think they want to conquer the house soon.

This is going to be a SUPER TMI section. My period is pissing me off. Since they whacked at my cervix, my “monthly flows” are longer and more…uhm.. bloody. Ladies! If anyone wants to chop up your cervix, ask them if they can take as little as possible. When the doctor told me she took a piece out that was about the size of her thumb (and now that I think about it, she had bigger hands), I was happy. The more she took, the less likely I would be to have any kind of cervical surgery again. Well, good. But now I am stuck with cycles that require bathroom trips every fucking hour. AND I can’t do my yoga or bellydancing when during the first few days. All that movement = very bad accident waiting to happen. I wanted to run, but the same problem. So, tomorrow morning, I am going to wear a fucking diaper if I have to! I need to get out and move my ass, in spite of the issues with my uterus. Ugh. I really hate periods.

TMI - Over!

So, Christianity (nice segue, right ?) If you have read this for any amount of time, or you know me in person, you know that I am scared/angry at/annoyed with/offended by/confused by Christians. I am not a Jesus basher, but I am perplexed by his followers. Because I am a happy pagan- one who has studied the Bible as a literal text, who has studied the history and genesis of both Islam and Judaism- I’m not talking out of my ass about the religion. What makes me scratch my head are the sudden switches from a relative nonreligious life that suddenly takes a turn to some kind of religious searching. I think almost everyone has or will do this. At my darkest times, I rediscovered paganism and it has worked for me ever since (although I do find inspiration in Buddhism and some of the basic teachings of Christianity), but it was an extreme turn for me.. But the seed of my beliefs were planted when I was still a child. You will not see me dancing naked in the moonlight or casting spells. I tend to fuck up spells. I get distracted. So, uhm, what was I saying? Oh…. religiosity. There has been a shift and wiggle between devotion to the church and mere acceptance of the biblical teachings. When the hard turn is taken from holiday worship to weekly travels, I feel like something happened, something hidden under the guise of a newfound love of religion. I could be talking out of my ass here, as I often do, but it concerns me when the turns are taken (and yes, I would be just as concerned if someone went from liking trees one day to devoting their life to wicca the next) with such abruptness. It’s just something I’m thinking right now…. Yeah. Not a satisfying end to that part, but…. oh well.

My Mom and I talked about D’s birthday. She keeps forgetting that it is 2 days before Alexis’. I find that funny. D gave me so much shit for forgetting it as well. Alexis turns old on the 14th of March, and D turns older on the 12th. Easy association, right? Nope! I think I get my Mom’s absentmindedness for birthdays and other special occasions. So, just in case I missed it — HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE —. That’s my insurance policy against forgetting, because I know I will. I always do. That is something you can be sure of.

My elbow hurts.