Sleeping alone
Posted on | February 20, 2008 | 2 Comments
Valentine likes to sleep in the crook of my arm. If he can’t have that space, he will submit to sleeping between my feet. Either way, unless he’s buried in the couch pillows, he sleeps with me. (Or D…. he loves him too). But I can’t sleep in my bed right now. It doesn’t feel right. Val isn’t popping up on my side of the bed, rubbing the book I’m trying to read, or walking like Godzilla on my pillow. He doesn’t like to be ignored.
We went to the pound last night. It’s not an activity I would reccomend. Although I stayed out of the dog section, the cats were just as heartbreaking. Multonomah County does have a very nice facility. It doesn’t smell and the animals look sad, rather than crazed. But as I walked by each metal cage, as I searched the strange faces for a trace of my cat, I remembered the last time I was in a place like that. It was when we adopted him. The missing cat books, the DOA book, and the cages held no sign of Valentine. I don’t know whether or not I was relieved. It was hard to look at those animals. Most of them only have 3 days to live. God, I hate this system.
We flyered the light poles last night. Part of me hopes someone found him, is giving him a warm home and some good food. But they won’t understand that’s he’s a pukey cat – that he’s obsessive about the litter box and will piss in your sink if it’s dirty. He doesn’t like to be dirty and will clean himself with an OCD fervor.
On top of this, I’m getting really sick. It feels like I’m snorting razor blades right now. I’m blowing my nose so much that the piercing is starting to bleed (that’s really not a big deal…). I’m hurting, in my soul and in my body. All I want to do is to curl up with my cat and sleep. But I can’t do either….at least not right now.
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February 20th, 2008 @ 5:19 pm
Sweetie my heart completely goes out to you…I get it and know nothing can be said to ease your anxiety or restlessness. I called some vet offices near your house to see if anyone brought him in…describing him is not easy…when I went for the first descriptive word I had to stop and think. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
February 20th, 2008 @ 11:31 pm
oh erica, i am so sorry for what you are going through. i wish there was something i could do! you are in my thoughts and i am sending out positive energy that valentine will be safe in the crook of your arm soon.