Coming to Terms

Posted on | December 16, 2004 | 1 Comment

I have gotten angry at the wrong people for the wrong reasons.

I didn’t realize until I talked to Lex last night, that I feel on the defensive constantly at work. I have backed into the stereotype of the rabid liberal, and I hate it. My beliefs are as valid at the next person’s, but I hate extremism in any form, be it Christian fundamentalism or rabid liberalism. I don’t think extremes work, they polarize the issues to such a degree, regardless what it is, that the conversation becomes about the chasm between beliefs rather than the basis for the beliefs themselves. I was mad at my sister, friends, and others for voting “the wrong way.” Then I really listened to what people said both about my viewpoint and me. I understood that their insensitive ignorant comments made me angry, very angry, and almost angry enough to bite. I projected that rage and hurt on every republican in the country, and it scarred me.

The stresses at work, while they can be extreme, should not change who I am. I am steadfast a left-wing nut job, but I think I have enough intelligence and empathy to understand both sides of most issues (anything that preaches the exclusion of gays, women, etc can fuck off because those kind of prejudices are just archaic). And while I don’t agree with a lot of Republican beliefs, I have to respect those who make their decisions with intelligence. I am allowed to think they are wrong, but I won’t hate them for it.

These past weeks at work have taught me something. Being the lone sheep in a house of wolves is exhausting. I find myself disgusted with many things said around me, but I suck it up and hum along to the Dandy Warhols, and lose myself in what I do.
I am not unable to initiate an epiphany for these people, nor can I change viewpoints. But what I can do is show them that all liberals aren’t crazy, and that kindness is really the key to it all. Otherwise, their hungry snapping will take me down for good. I’m too much of a fighter for that.

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