Moody Meow

Liberal, lunatic lassie, with mood swings and foot-in-mouth syndrome

After the wind blows

Posted on | December 27, 2004 | 3 Comments

If you were to equate my mood to a dish, pickeled pigs feet comes to mind (although that image/scent/concept only works if you hate pickled pigs feet)

My weekend crackled with unease. I felt like I needed to go home, but “home” closed its doors years ago. I have a home. I love my home. Still, moments bleed through the fabric of today, filled with colors of an idealized childhood and fanciful longing.I hate the holdidays. Still, I miss Christmas morning with my sister and brother, pulling apart tissue paper suprises, and then, once the living room had been flooded with ragged paper, falling into a satiated slumber for a few hours until the obsession with new toys yanked me into a hyer-wakeful state. I found joy in those mornings. Now I realize they had less to do with the occasion and more to do with the people who populated those moments. That home still sings softly to me.

These days my holidays are tainted with disdain. I wonder why anyone really celebrates them. I find its more about the presents than the religious connotations and the close-knit communion over a well-loved dinner. And if presents are the main idea, then why wait until the end of the year? Why not start a new holiday, where the date is random, but you buy the ones you love something special just because they are who they are?.. That is pretty much how I live. I don’t wait. Christmas may not be in my future next year, so waiting for the perfect time to give the perfect gift could be a wasted effort.

So, the weekend was mellow and colored slightly blue. The highlights included an iTunes gift certificate that allowed me to purchase the JunkieXL cd I wanted, a new video game (Jax 3), the arrival of our new futon (the couch is a dead camper), listening to my new wind chime sing in the chilly breeze and some sleepy sex. We really didn’t venture far, taking a quiet drive around downtown on Christmas night, searching for something to do. (The Bull and Bush was closed, sadly), before finally heading home to drink a beer and watch Star Wars. I slept soundly that night, dreaming of a home that didn’t exist anymore.
My kidneys were killing me last night, I am sure due to the overindulgence of wine and Strongbow throughout the long weekend. We have decided to ignore New Year’s, staying at the house with the kids. I have Friday off, which is nice. The invitations are almost done, really they are! Other than that, life is the same as it was last week. I am looking forward to a real vacation and researching that school in Vermont…..

If you find my nature a little blue, understand I stand beneath a cloud throughout the holidays until Nicole’s birthday on January 8th. It’s been this way for years. I shall play my video games, run at the gym and propel myself out of this blue mood…The sky always clears.

Category: Everyday

Comments

3 Responses to “After the wind blows”

  1. E the M
    December 27th, 2004 @ 10:38 am

    No, I love the sleepy sex. That was the best part about the weekend. Well, that and my nifty new pen. And my video game. And cuddling..

  2. David M
    December 27th, 2004 @ 10:25 am

    It’s not that boring is it? he he just kidding :)

  3. David M
    December 27th, 2004 @ 10:25 am

    Sleepy Sex?

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