Giving Birth
Posted on | December 29, 2004 | 4 Comments
As Alexis nears her due date, I reflect upon my own experience with the pains of labor.
She called me yesterday, my belly-heavy sister, giggly and excited by the prospect of birthing my niece in the next week or so. Two centimeters dilated and mostly effaced, her body is preparing for the imminent task of expelling the child into the natural world. So, my phone remains on at all times, just in case she needs to speak to her big sister. Don’t expect me to answer, though, I am deeply embedded in the joys (and agonies) of Jak 3.
It’s been almost eleven years since my experience with birth. Nicole is now almost a teenager, on the precipice of puberty. I know time slides by me swiftly, but I would think it would do it more so for full time parents. There is such a shock when I see pictures of her now. She grows so quickly. The day of her birth though, I remember utterly.
The fear of the unexpected plagued me. The familiarity of that bitter tinge in the back of my throat was reminiscent of a previous surgery. Sweaty palms and a feeling of vulnerability which came as much from the tissue paper gown as from the idea that strangers with cold hands (because no matter what they do, their hands are always cold!) becoming intimately involved with my body. I waddled around the halls of the hospital, pissed that I had to walk at all. I wanted a nap. And a chicken sandwich. And to relax. But I didn’t get that. I got labor pains, a rushed and teary call to my mother in North Carolina and an urge to flee when they did finally make me lie down.
The process? No one tells you it feels like you have to take a shit. That wasn’t in the birthing class I took. Breathing? A bloody myth. I managed to nap between the contractions, because the epidural didn’t work. But after a few house, she was born. And my work had been done.
It’s very hard to believe that she is going to be eleven. And I don’t regret my decision not to have any more children. I am happy knowing that my child lives a happy life with her family. And my family, which does include children of the fuzzy kind, is complete. I know that Alexis is a wonderful parent, and I know that my niece will be lucky to call her Mommy. But, my role as the weirdo aunt requires that I turn her into a tomboy. Hey, it’s the least I can do!
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January 1st, 2005 @ 12:39 am
I give you leave to shoot them. But just with rubber bands…. I don’t think you would look good with your prision uniform.
December 31st, 2004 @ 4:35 pm
Still no baby and I am really really ready to have her I want my body back and I want to be able to eat and not feel like my dinner is sitting in my throat- and if one more person feels the need to walk up to me and say “my you look terrible still no baby” I think I might have to shoot them…..
December 31st, 2004 @ 12:45 pm
I love you too Lex….now don’t forget! Give birth on the 8th ! That way your daughter and my daughter will share a birthday!
December 30th, 2004 @ 4:16 pm
I think that this little girl beating me from the inside out is lucky to have that weirdo aunt to show her all the funky ways to look at things in life. I know that you have been able to give me a different point of view on things that only a weirdo could see and I appreciate it I love you dearly and I could not think of a better person to turn my daughter into a tom boy….. I love you