Urban Flats and Sin City
Posted on | April 4, 2005 | 6 Comments
Saturday we made plans with Vanya, Frankie and Nick to see Sin City. But first, we needed to eat…
Urban Flats is a new little joint that seems filled with promise, but that air of possibility chokes with the mistakes made. The place is concrete, bare, cold floors only warmed by the light of the kitchen and the ultra-fab lighting found in many new eateries (the cobolt lights are a little old now). My ears were immediatly assulted by white jazz played poorly by a kid with a sax, an iPod and a glorified boom box. Instead of bad karaoke singing, we got bad sax playing. We were seated, after a fair wait, at the 4 top right in front of the poor musician at a wobbly table. This facilitated one of the most uncomfortable conversations of my life, not due to the company or the subject matter, but rather – we had to scream the whole fucking time! I should have known that this version of hip would not go down well.
I ordered the flats and dip as an appetizer. But I will get to that in a minute. The schtick is that everything comes on a flatbread, which is both white and wheat flour based. The server said pizza, but then immediatly told us that the “p” word was naughty so it shouldn’t be said. Basically, they offered personal sized pizzas….
The app came out on what looked like a candle holder that I had passed up many times in a dollar store. Four small votive cups were half filled with dipping sause and rested in a u-shaped holder, which perched atop a wooden pallette. Flatbread, well seasoned and chewy, covered the pallette sparingly. We tried all the dips. I only likes one, a tomato based bit that didn’t sing of any kind of unique flavors, rather it reminded me of cold Ragu spaghetti sauce. The rest of the sauces just grossed me out, although some at our table enjoyed one or two. They weren’t a big hit. The flats themselves were relaitvely unremarkable. I was starving so I didn’t get adventurous. I had the “standby” which was just a pepperoni pizza. It didn’t suck. D chose the Mexican which had chili-cheese, chicken, sausage, and sour cream. I had a bit. The bite was bad. It tasted like cheap chili-cheese mac or something. N chose the chicken ceaser, which looked pretty save the brown sauce (which remain unidentified, but Vanya thought it smacked of BBQ sauce) that held the shiny lettuce atop the flats. He seemed to enjoy his dinner…glad someone did.
The service was nonexistant. Either our server was new or she was overly weeded because I ran out of soda, Vanya got a cracked glass and she forgot N’s beer almost completly. She came back once and asked how things were, although it was half hearted.
I don’t recommend the place…..
Sin City – I do recommend. What a ride it was! It grabs you by the balls in the opening scene and doesn’t let go until the end of the movie. D and I saw it twice, and it was just as much fun the second time around. I don’t think I have read a bad review of this film, although there is some grumbling about the violence and the stature of women in the film. To all detractors I say “read the fucking graphic novels!!” Those stories were, frame by frame, in the books. I am really looking forward to going back and re-reading them all.
As for the acting – yay!! Elijah Wood was too damn effective as the canibal Kevin. His smile is still creeping out. All the major characters were right on, but my favorites are still Miho (devon akoi) and Kevin. Why? They are both twisted and they make you understand their depth without speaking a word. Rosario Dawson kicked ass as Gail, her swagger and sneer perfect for the character. I don’t think they made a bad choice for any of the characters, really.
My favorite line “She didn’t really cut his head off, she just made him a pez dispenser” I love this movie!!
Go see it! TWICE!!!
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April 4th, 2005 @ 10:41 am
I’m still in love with the server!
Mickey Rourke’s character is my new hero.
April 4th, 2005 @ 10:59 am
Well you can love her all you want..she didn’t have enough of an ass for me! And too girly…. but that’s just my staste!
Marv is badassssss! I like him cause he doesn’t hurt the ladies (unless they are being dumb)…
April 4th, 2005 @ 11:02 am
Sounds like that block of restaurants isn’t too impressive. I caution anyone considering “Ole Ole”, the “International Cuisine & Tapas Bar” adjacent to Urban Flats. The menu was nothing spectacular, I’d call it “upscale Mexican”, and rather pricey, starting with the plate of chips & salsa for $2.75!! Also, beware the $9 margaritas which are smaller than the $1 margaritas at Amigos on Wednesday nights. Our fault for not actually asking about the price of those drinks which were not on the menu.
At least for the prices, you should expect decent service, which we (a group of 12), did not get. Half of the drink orders (which included glasses of water) arrived after the appetizers. Presumably, they were compounding the interest on the margaritas. After the entrees arrived, more servers kept coming by with more tapas, which would have been nice had we actually ordered any more. There was definitely a general air of confusion the whole night.
Some nearby patrons seemed quite pleased to be there, particularly after receiving very personal attention from the waiter who was ignoring us. I’ve never felt better about not leaving a tip before. I’ve also never felt more compelled to badmouth a dining establishment.
In summary: Ole Ole? No way, no way.
April 4th, 2005 @ 11:07 am
Joel, was your group mostly young people? It seems, in that area, the wealthy older people get more respect/attention/consideration.
Meow, girlie = prrrrrrr
Urban Flats, minus the saxophonist, would be a decent place for drinks and being obnoxious
April 4th, 2005 @ 11:24 am
that place has obnoxious covered…You should go back N, and let her select another beer for you !!!
Joel….I was soooooooooooo tempted to hit Ole next door once I saw the madhouse at Urban Flats. So my new rule is to just stick to eating in my kitchen..
April 4th, 2005 @ 2:04 pm
We were a mixed bag, Nick, but I think we looked presentable. I was second youngest at 35. Still, a large group of people ought to hold some clout, no matter how old we looked.
Erica, when I told the gang about my efforts to divert more potential patrons away from No Way, No Way, someone brought up trying out Urban Flats. Based on your experience, I’ll steer us away. I might need a clever, disdainful nickname for Urban Flats though. Slogans seem to work with the masses.
Or, maybe we’ll give it a go anyway and you and David could try No Way, No Way too. Perhaps with lowered expectations, we’d find different experiences.