Moody Meow

Liberal, lunatic lassie, with mood swings and foot-in-mouth syndrome

Feeling good about Mr. King

Posted on | May 4, 2005 | 5 Comments

Cleaning the closet allows things to air out. I realized that before my last purge, I had too much shit cluttering sacred spaces. It’s best that things like this happen now and again.

The cease and desist letter went out over a month ago and there’s been no response. I don’t know if he’s dead. Part of me hopes he’s resting in the warm, moving embrace of the earth, cycling back through the process. I hope he found what he was looking for, either in his own mirror or at the bottom of that bottle of pills. He was meant for something more, but then again, that’s an opinion based on eight years of long distance chaos. Instead of dealing with his demons, he let them drive him into madness. Poor soul. It’s amazing how people can fill unseen crevices with their rage.
He tried to give me the gift of his anger. Wrapping it in pretty smiles and guilt-soaked words did not make the package more palpatable. I told him to keep it, and use it later for his own cleansing. Ignoring issues and returning rage is never appreciated. In the end, he burned his hands. I left him with his sores, because I wasn’t willing to bandage them anymore
So, I feel good about it. His departure foreshadowed more cleaning, more cleansing, more readjustment. And with the prospect of summer’s beginning I feel lighter. There is no rumble in my stomach from uncertainty.
I know he won’t call.
I never gave him my cell phone number.

I found out that Gramps was put in the hospital last Friday. Mom didn’t think to call me, but he’s okay. Sever bladder infection. They still have him hooked up, trying to get his fluids back in sync. If it’s not Grannie then its Gramps.
Mom sounds better this week. Alexis and I have determined that the step-monster is just asking too much from everyone and she has to chose to be a friend or a daughter to our Mom, not both.

Miss Heather got a job!! YAY Heather!

I think Tali and I are going to see each other soon. She’s moving to Chicago. I would like to see her go without any bad blood between us (specifically from me, because I may have over-reacted. Something I can admit now). I’ve missed her friendship.

I am still gagging on the idea that I am a senior. It’s been a whirlwind ride, I tell you. I sat outside class last night, just bullshitting with Hollie and Nora and a few other people and I realzied that I love that school. I’ve made amazing friends there. It feels like a second home. I love going to school (provided that my professor isn’t a dried up bloody twat with Tammy Faye makeup), learning, challenging myself. After I graduate I am sure I will continue…..I’ve got no choice now. I’ve got the bug.

But back to Mr. King. If you ever read this jumbled mess, know two things: when it worked, it worked well and I valued your presence in my life. You can have more than you’ve given yourself. Just try really falling one time, and you will realize it hurts a lot less than you first thought.

Category: Contemplation

Comments

5 Responses to “Feeling good about Mr. King”

  1. David M
    May 4th, 2005 @ 11:20 am

    ‘dried up bloody twat with Tammy Faye makeup’

    Sounds lovely. :grin:

  2. Isolde
    May 4th, 2005 @ 11:44 am

    yur so Niiice…

  3. Meow
    May 4th, 2005 @ 11:47 am

    Can you tell I love the woman??? :twisted:

  4. little24lexy
    May 7th, 2005 @ 10:15 am

    I like Tammys makeup that is how I want mine done

  5. Meow
    May 9th, 2005 @ 11:20 am

    No accounting for taste!

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