From the depths of this mind
Posted on | November 23, 2005 | 2 Comments
With the cold came a snap. I couldn’t rest, my mind aflutter. I thought the wind howling outside kept me awake that night, but truly, it was my own restless thoughts. Last night, desperate for sleep, I shared wine with David. It slowed things down, temporarily. I am awake again, bouncing my foot on my chair because I have to move. I have to apoligize to Tali and Lindsey for the conversation last night. I didn’t mean to speak so fast. Sometimes I embarrass myself with this shit. I know I talk about it often, but I am really trying to work through the hows and whys of the thing. The last option is meds. I just don’t want to do meds.
The snap this time really threw me off. The severity and strength of this swing left me reeling. I keep hoping if I pay attention to the triggers that I can alleviate the unstable nature of my moods. But no matter how you slice it, I’m still manic depressive. And I still have swings. And the only thing I can do to control things is to move my ass. Simple enough. But sometimes not so simple.
But onto happier things.
I get a nice long weekend. That makes me quite happy. The problem is that I have to study for my Humanities final and write the paper for Levis and write the paper for Baroque. So……busy weekend. Squeeze in: More of the goofy Tali and Erica hour, Aeon Flux (yes, D bought it and I am a spoiled bitch), Frankie’s casa for some music, excess coffee, a drink or 5, a run, and more homework, turkey and family, phone calls, setting something on fire, studying and more homework.
I noticed this morning that my bed is extremely comfy and that the beagles wanted me to go back to sleep. How do I know this? Pip came up and laid next to me, his head on my shoulder. This translates into “please stay home and snuggle.” I wonder if I could have gotten him to write me a note “Dear Work, Erica cannot come in today because she has to chill with her creatures. Thank you, the Fuzzy Collective” That would totally work.
Fat Bastard Shiraz – cheap and quite delish!
I think we are going to try to see Harry Potter again this weekend, or something. Perhaps I will just delay watching it again until school is out on December 8th. That is going to be a week of celebration for me. It also signals one more year till I graduate. Wooo hoooo!
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November 23rd, 2005 @ 8:28 am
Simple, ass moving is, difficult only in your mind.
Pips letter would probably be less properly spelled….”Deer work, Momy canot be ther twoday du to the desperat need of her fuzy crechurs to have her sta home and feed them treets and give them hapy ear rubs and tak long naps with them. Sined the Fuzy Coletif.”
November 23rd, 2005 @ 8:47 am
I think that is the cutest thing I have ever read!!! I will smile for the rest of the day!