It presented itself with gusts of wind that shook our sycamore, but it was more than welcome.
Puddle sized drops assulted our yard suddenly and I rejoiced in the smell of sweet, wet earth. Cleansing rain washed away the weariness and anxiety from new job and new classes. I realize, it’s all good in my life. I just have to work to keep it that way.
So what have I been up to? Work and school. Doesn’t make for interesting conversation, but it keeps me grounded and appreciative of all that I have. David and I went on a date last night. We splashed around in a bubble bath while drinking beer. But as usual, I passed out before dessert was served. I swear, it wasn’t the booze. It’s my early hours, pressing against the moonset at dawn on my journey towards another dollar. I love the job, really I do. What I don’t relish is the drastically different schedules that David and I have. I am in bed and zonked out by 10:30 - and he may or may not creep in around twelve. It really doesn’t make for quality time with my lover, but I am doing my best to make it quality when I can. Last night was a sad attempt, but the attempt was made. I made up for it this morning!
So, with this new writing class, I am reading a bit. Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird is a very compelling and entertaining book on the art (and misery) of the writing life. Her tone and wit really make the endeavor seem worthwhile. But then I sit down alone, trying to birth words of brilliance and light, I find that I am stuck in park. Fucking writing. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I want to shoot myself in the head for ever thinking that I can become something more than mediocre. But the important thing is that I am trying. Albeit unsucessfully at the moment. That is the reason for the lapses here. I think I have a word allotment for the day, and the school endeavors are taking them up, sometimes borrowing against the following day’s serving. The other thing is time. I don’t have much right now. Work. School. Sex. Driving on I4. Beagles. Fucking time killers, I tell you. But I would not change it for the world. I am glad to be busy, persuing creative and loving goals. Sometimes I just wish I could have a break. But there will be time enough to rest when I’m dead.
