I will admit to keeping one out. It’s about my birthdaughter and was intended on being a private post. And it was from last summer. Some know the details, but I have no right to write about her in such a public setting if I am sharing such things.

But here are the rest. They are in a random order. The bold parts were the blog titles. Enjoy.

Day 4 – Leslie B. - I still think that painting had cows coming out of a gold sky, not more fucking angels. Pretzels, barefoot, and the same questions every semester. You make me miss school.

Little intrusions into our life – I am still quite annoyed that IE doesn’t have spell check. I sound like a moron, with all these typos (and apparently I spell lightning – lightening…. I dunno. It made sense).

My soul is whole – He’s home. We got a call from a nice guy who lives a few blocks away from us.

Tearing my hair out and sweating – I’ve been silent because I’ve been writing. It’s slow going, honestly. I spent many nights just sitting in front of my computer, trying to figure out what I needed the story to do. Then I lost my mentor’s e-mail address. It’s just been a fucking mess. The good thing is that I’ve got 30 pages due on August 10th, and I am starting a writing schedule. No more dicking around, god damnit (I’m in a cursing mood…. feh).Before you ask, no I’m not working. We will discuss that later. I would like to talk about my birthday. It fucking rocked. Alexis came down from Tacoma, C came over, and Amanda got to Portland that very day, so we all bounced downtown for some dinner. It was a good meal.

I’m awake before noon - I don’t know if WordPress (and my site for that matter) has changed the time when I blog, although its been so infrequent lately. But, ladies and gentle-dorks, I would like to talk about sleep. It’s three, sometimes four in the morning before I hit the hay. It’s weird to think that many of my Florida friends are already at work, or getting ready by the time I get to sleep. The sunset/sunrise times have also thrown me off. When we moved here, it wasn’t getting dark until after 9:45, and then the sun would rise super early

Privacy - There are some things that I think I need to hash out, mostly with myself. That being said, I’ve noticed an increase in traffic from “unknowns” and I know who, at least some of them, are. So, in order to protect those I love, I am going to lock a few things down for a while. There’s a lot of trauma in my family right now, strife between the members and things that shouldn’t be said out loud. I’m not closing my mouth at all, but I won’t allow my opinions to become ammunition against those I love. If there’s a locked post, it will have its usual password (if you don’t l know it — e-mail me).

The trip is almost over. Lex and I are in a hotel room in Idaho.

Running out - It’s official. I am out of meds. What to do? I’ve spoken with D about it and we agreed that I could go to walgreens and get raped for my lamictal, but the healthier (heheh… interesting how that works out eh?) option is to try to control my manic depression on my own. How? Diet, exercise, honest observation of triggers, making myself sleep and …and just trying to pay attention. I won’t go batshit immediately because I do have a decent buildup in my system, but the chemical protection will erode with time, and in about a month, I will be without any kind of chemical help. This wasn’t a choice I wanted to make. My insurance ran out with my last job, and I fluffed the system enough to give me a little leeway until we got to Portland. But, I still don’t have a job. So, no help with the meds. It would cost more than our car payment for my medications…. how fucking insane is that ?

I’ve not talked about grad school much here. I’m setting up a seperate (see: proper) blog for my book reviews and such. But I really feel lost sometimes.

Cutout - First day – I had first day of work jitters last night. Would they like me? Can I do the job? Do they have good coffee (my prior place of employment had shite coffee)? D called at 8:10, but by that time my two alarms had already interrupted my sad attempts to fall back to sleep. I stayed up too late, worrying. And so when the morning came, I wanted to go back to sleep, like I have been doing for months. But that was a no-go.

When I got to the office, coffee and water in hand, I was greeted by my boss, who we will call P, and the GM named A. I met everyone else, smiled, waved, and then almost fell out of my seat when P began dictating the list of things I had to accomplish. Then he left, and I realized, with shame, that I didn’t know how to do anythign on the list, so I started small and arranged my desk. It’s not that the job will be hard, because it won’t, but getting the hang of a new system of protocols, rules and regulations will take time.

Links - * The Ironman trailer — D’s excited. I’m less than thrilled. The flying scene does look really nice, but I don’t know about the rest of it.
* We watched the trailer for the Bionic Woman. I had high hopes (I still love Battlestar), but it looked like crap. The story was poorly executed and the characters felt super flat. I think that they should take their time developing the characters, because then it makes for a deeper connection. Perhaps these issues had something to do with the problems with the show. Then again — it could just be crap.

When it rains…. - Jeezus. So, it’s been a busy little trek through the life of me. On top of family issues, tension in the home, and conflicts/issues with extended family connection — welll I feel like I’m drowning.

I need valium - Or a stiff cocktail.

It’s snowing!! - I am cooking lunch, wearing my purple fuzzy socks and a smile. Oh, and clothes too. Perverts.

for me – I’m fucking angry, and I don’t think that I need to submit the rest of you to this, but there’s a lot that’s pissing me off right now, so this will be protected.

my family is pissing me off… specifically my stepfather. For the first timein my life I realized that I’ve never really had a father.

Ketchup… – Or catch-up. which ever you prefer.

The halloween party was a hit. I dressed up as a white trash preggers person, with curlers in my hair and all.

Do we still need animal testing? – And does it really work?

I don’t know, and am scared to ask, what kind of trails were used for my meds. There have been several cases recently where drugs

Is this fair? – I know that you still speak with the one that slighted me. And I thought that I was a grown-up about it, but I’m not. How can you even think to associate with someone who hurt a person you care about? Anne had it right — you should choose. I’ve tried to be the bigger person here, but I’m immature when it comes to this kind of thing. You are going to keep her in your life, keep contacting her although she took you for granted and used you. And it pisses me off to no end. Where is the loyalty? Why is this such a problem for me? And I know you will keep talking to her, no matter how fucked up that situation was. And I know that you will keep her around, and I know that it will effect our relationship because I don’t believe in supporting someone or being friends with someone who is such a cunt.

I told you how I felt about it. and perhaps I should be clear about things. Perhaps I should stop bullshitting you, but I’ve tried to be the bigger person and its not working.

Where you sleep – My sister wanted to sleep between D and I. I told her that the dogs already had that position — chastity beagles. She said she would “woof” if we wanted. My sister is twisted and she always makes me giggle. There was lots of family conversation last night, but the most important thing was the solidification of the plans for May. I am graduating in a few months. I am scared. But my family is going to stay at mi casa for the 5 days they are going to be in town. Cat’s trip is shorter than she first thought, but we are going to drag her and Jewlie to dinner at Babbos. (there will be no argument Cat!). I was very proud of myself yesterday. I bought a queen sized mattress for someone to stay on. I am planning ahead. Go me!

I accidentally put too much sugar in my coffee. Gah!

I have my first midterm today. These years, this point, so close to completion, I am fucking terrified.

Dark to Light:

On an introspective note – We are coming up on the 3 month mark until the move. The plans for homes and jobs and such are coming together. But I realized yesterday, I won’t see summer with Seemore. The other students at Rollins are talking about summer classes and bitching about the lack of Humanities cores available in the fall.

I thought about it while I drove – Do Conservatives write poetry? Does the Christian Right (wrong) find inspiration from writing verse or essays that are reflective or creative versus bombastic condemnation with poorly chosen metaphors?

Changes to come – I am learning a lot more about the abilities and possibilities with WordPress,

Walking on Sunshine – I called my mother, my daughter’s family, my sister, my brother, and a few friends and told them all about my good news. My birthdaughter seemed only slightly impressed. I was happy to hear that she’s no longer failing Science, and that she got an A in PE. Did I ever tell you how I used to get bad grades in PE because I wouldn’t dress out ? Seems the apple and the tree have something in common. The Birthdaughter and her mother are going to Australia on Saturday. I’m jealous. She offered to take me along.

Boogers and fleas - Good god. My head is killing me. K i l l i n g …. meeeeeee. I would like to crawl into a hole and die right now. It’s making my eyes tired. I’m nauseous. Does anyone have a drill so I can relieve the pressure? An axe? An exacto knife? please?

I’ve had this headache for two days now. It started before I left work yesterday, and although I love my Composite Novel class, I had to squint through the pain. I thought sushi would cure my ailment. It didn’t. I pouted for the rest of the night. It doesn’t help that the beasties has fleas.

So, I am going to whine now. Ready? You sure?

What you won’t hear - Mom called last night, just to tell me she was calling not to bitch. I talked to her the other night, and she did bitch. I don’t mind those conversations. I enjoy them, actually. Although she’s my parental unit, she’s also one of my closest friends, so it feels good when she calls to bitch. But you won’t hear me relay the details of those conversations. I wouldn’t know what to tell you. Our family, like so many others, has bumps and bruises and scars and imperfections and all those other nasties that no one likes to talk about. Through the addictions, denials, abuse and fear – we came to love each other, building around the scars, and coming up with something amazingly flawed but clean. Our conversations often analyze the bits of our family that don’t work.

She’s always questioning my meds. When I told her that I was taking myself off the Seroquel, she balked. But she doesn’t have to watch me tear through the fog every morning. She knows I’m not a morning person, but that shit adds a level of fuzziness that’s almost too hard to overcome. I think she fears for my sanity, but often forgets that I have D to remind me to eat and sleep and breathe and relax. Not that I am completly incapable, but it’s good to have that voice and embrace to stabalize things. But, you won’t hear us talk about her depression or her drinking.

Untitled - Search back, deep in those memories blurred by time. Think of ice cream and running barefoot in the street. What did the sun feel like when you were a child? When you carried little and understood even less.

*snicker* - So, they are trying to lock down the internets at work. First, they finagled with my Windows Media Player downloads, then they started blocking radio sites altogether. I find this amusing for two reasons. One: if you have any kind of creativity and you know how to use Google, then you can usually bypass this kind of crap.

Recap – I spent Friday on the couch. Why? Jager. Jager is evil and we are still not sure how many actual shots I had. But I had a lot of Blackthorn, and I laughed and cried a lot. The afternoon started off with a bang. I went to ABC and bought some wine, and then met the class at the Woolson House for the last class. We were supposed to have a read-around, and we did, but I pulled blog posts and cried because one was about my birthdaughter. I heard lots of wonderful stories, and one of my compadres, Kyle, read poetry. His words amazed me. You can’t buy talent like his. So, class started to end, and I felt the tears and emotion well up. I was okay until I hugged Dr. Dunn. She made me cry.

Full time veggie – It’s not hard being a vegetarian in Portland. Most restaurants don’t just accommodate, they take pride in their vegetarian options. If they don’t have something specifically for vegetarians, most are willing to rework a dish or two to satisfy us. I am a full time vegetarian. I had been for many years, a part time vegetarian. I would like to say it was a moral choice, and admittedly, it was to some degree.  But most of what kept me from eating meat was the amount of cash it took to make such dinners. And cleaning flesh, be it deboning chicken thighs, or cutting the gristle off a steak, grossed me the fuck out. The only thing I loved to cook and eat meat wise was bacon. Yes, I know it’s the french fries of the meat world – little (or no) nutritional value, full of fat and cholesterol.

But it tasted so damn good.

Coffee - Some rituals beg for a re-try. Julie, Cat and I used to have weekly coffee at the Barnies (now a Starbucks) in the plaza on Bumby and Colonial. We’d talk about relationships, school, etc. You know, the nice bs that makes friendships run. But Cat moved and that tradition died. Julie and I always intended to meet for coffee again, but we ended meeting at school, as that was the easiest place since we were both there so much. Last night Julie and I met back at the old Barnies and talked about the next 6 weeks. She’s due when we leave.

D would like this chocolate figure more than any other. I wonder if I can do this with dark chocolate? Hmmm..

the boxes build - My hand has hurt all week, and I don’t know why. I was hesitant to go back to the doc, because I know they would just say it is carpal tunnel, but there’s something really wrong this time. My grip is weak. My fingers are shooting with pain, not constantly, but its there. It is hard to type. I hate this.

With the futon gone, the front room is quickly becoming the center of the move. Boxes of books tower over boxes yet to be filled and it si all starting to scare me now. Things seem kind of uncertain. Did I mention that we have too many books? I haven’t been able to touch the other stuff, the knick knacks and whatnots, but there will not be enough boxes to contain it all. Dumpster diving is in my future…unless…. you know where I can find boxes. Do you?

We found more stuff to get rid of. I’ll post a list here.

Overheard - You gotta watch out for Jamaicans. They’ll shoot you. They ain’t got no remorse.

—

What was your GPA?

3.5 something

That’s crap!

Good morning headache - I feel all whiney. Gah!

D and I watched Pan’s Labyrinth last night. There’s a silly litte story about getting the movie (and I want the soundtrack!!). D, because he is the greatest husband ever, bought the movie for me last week when it came out. He thought he bought the two disk edition. The packaging was misleading and we found that he bought the normal versions.

Sore sore sore – I’m walking funny from Tuesday’s class, and tonight I am going to hop around like a monkey and try to stretch these aching legs of mine out.

Day 44 – 54 -  Regarding Families – I’m way behind with this, because of Grannie’s death and my inability to put fingertip to keyboard. This is the Meow playing catch up again. Deal with it

Day 44 -Dude from Jet Blue

I wrote down your name so I could tell Jet Blue how much you rocked. Your unusual name has been lost with a discarded boarding pass. Lex and I meant well.

Day 45 -Meredith

What a woman you are about to become. I see the bitchy tomboy in you, and understand why the fights with your brothers. Someday, everyone will grow up, and you’ll be friends.

Day 46 – Tommy

You remind me of my brother, gargantuan smartass. I see you trying to struggle outside the shadow of your brother. The Air Force will give you wings. Use them well.

Day 47 – Michael

Oldest, like me, so I’m allowed to say this. It’s time for you to grow up and show our family what you are capable of. You still need to earn “Bartz.”

Day 48 – Martha

I didn’t expect what I got. I admit I was wrong about you. While we are vastly different, there’s commonality. I’ve grown up and you’ve grown more tolerant. Isn’t’ it interesting?

Day 49 – Charlie

Aloof, but so proud of your wife. I cried when I watched you and Mom dance. Distant, but eager to share love and memories. And you have great taste in wine.

Day 50 – Riley

The little DJ, the sensitive, understanding, loving one. You have the best of our family in your heart. It’s going to be hard growing up, but remember your family loves you.

Day 51 – Zach

The big brother, smartass like the rest of us, tall, wicked grins, full of mischief and energy. You were a great host, and too entertained by the Garcia kids’ bad language.

Day 52 – Claire

Day 53 – Gramps

Day 54 – Marybeth

the outfit – The interview went really well. I’m not tooting my own horn, but interviews are my forete. It’s the resume shit that takes me forever to work out. But the company is teensy, and piggybacked on a larger company based in Canada. I would be working with a subcontractor

Bringing you up to date – Lots of things to talk about, but I’m focusing on the good stuff. I spent so much time bitchign about things that I (and others) can forget what grace is given to us.

Welcome to the beaglehouse – We got the house. We move on Friday. This is the bigger of the two houses, the one I was talking about on Friday. It’s very exciting, the whole moving thing. What isn’t so exicting is that the landlady decided she was going to try to pull her ass out of the fire and sell the house before the bank siezes it. Nice thing to do, but she sent over a realtor on Saturday with a prospective buyer. I thought she was comng.

Worried – I moved from Florida for a lot of reasons that don’t really need to be reiterated. The weather in Portland is gentle, nurturing, and rarely violent. And sometimes I forget how spectacular thunder is. But I won’t ever forget Hurricane Charley, ever.

Now Hurricane Gustav is roaring in the Gulf, heading for Cuba, and some of his rain bands are effecting Central Florida – where I still have friends and family. There won’t be a direct hit on our old stomping grounds, but the bastards is headed for a direct confrontation with Louisana, and especially New Orleans.

Close the door - And in the final throes of insincerity and lack of compassion, I listen to people in my office talk about how Spanish is an offensive language, and that the inclusion of foreign languages in American society is a result of lazy immigrants. Of course, they didn’t say such with any word more than two syllables and in a dictionary for lazy American speakers with little education and narrow minds.

Today, I am glad that I am leaving. Friday can’t come fast enough. In a panic, although I gave my notice a full month ago, the office is swirling around because there’s a shit load of work on my desk and not enough time to do it in. I tried to care, I really did. But the nazi, who gave me a card some months ago telling me how proud she was of me, pushed herself into my peripheral vision and refused to say anything to me until I pulled the headphone out of my ear. I’m not classically organized. I know where most of my stacks are and what they mean. I don’t have labeled folders and tabbed files. Piles work for me. She’s always been horrified by my lack of “organization.” Well have fun, lady. You can hire whomever tickles your pickle. But I would love to be a fly on the wall when I go. They will talk the most heinous shit. I’m not going to be here to intimidate, bully and protect. It’s easy to kill the memory of me. It’s harder to do it to the person. But I’m not concerned. I did my best to be a good person. It didn’t work all the time, but I tried.

What I won’t miss

• The continual comments about the inferior nature of the immigrant populous and how they are polluting our society — you know what, motherfucker? Go work on a roof in Baldwin Park, send most of your money back to your family, and work every day from sunup until sunset, and then bitch. Add insecurity of being in a foreign culture, of being looked down upon, and then tell me your attitude is justified.
• Defending my vegetarianism and belief in animal rights —- I don’t care if you hunt animals.

One more nail in the coffin – Talked to the overlord/property manager last night. I swear to god, baby jeezus and all those fun-loving saints that this woman only likes to talk to me and hates D. Which is strange. I’m the bitchy one in the family. Anway, our conversation went well. She needed an end date for our lease, and in a surprising move of generosity, never made us sign an addendum for the extension. I guess living there for three years, paying our rent on time, not freaking out when the roof got shorn to shit in Hurricane Charley, fixing things without bothering them and not pissing off the neighbors has payed off. I also asked her for a recommendation, because as much as it chaps my ass, we are going to have to rent when we get to Portland. Logistally, it makes the most sense. But she has an end date now, and I’ve promised smiles and cooperation. It’s not smart to leave things on bad terms, even when she did show up that one time, unannounced. That visit cost us 350 bucks! It’s hard to hide a second beagle. My parental units are overlords property owners, so I should know better. Oh well. I just hope they don’t try to bleed the rock dry when we move. We can’t afford it.

Snips of an update – This is going to be in bullet form because I’m  still working my assy off and trying to get everything done while working full time. What a pain in the ass! (but a good one)

• Wool Coats – I thought we were headed for the heart of autumn, D and I hunted for winter coats. We bought some half assed coats last fall and froze through most of the cooler weather. This time I found a great wool coat that complements my womanly figure. I love it. It’s heavy, black, military inspired, but more fashionable. I think all that time off watching “What Not to Wear” really rubbed off on me.
• I Heart my iPhone – D and I did what irresponsible people do and finally switched phone companies with that 2k check I received from Rollins. I have wanted an iPhone since they came out, and by George, we got em. And it is as spiffy and groovy as I thought it would be. The funny part, in a not so funny kind of way, is that the functionality that I ached for – being able to check e-mail, facebook, websites, without detection, is an unnecessary thing now. My current employers don’t give a shit where I go to, as long as I get the job done. But it’s good to have the capabilities with GPS. I’ve already used it once …..while on my bike…. and no, you are not allowed to laugh.
• The Job – so I think I already stated that I took the job with the laid-back solar company. If you got creative, you could figure out which one it is, suffice to say, I love it. It’s so fucking busy that I get there  and I get to 11 or 12 and realize I haven’t finished my coffee, my apple or all the phone calls I need to make. Laid back is not EVEN close to the truth there, but for all their laid back ways, they are very serious about the business. There is also a shop dog – Brutus, who is a springer spaniel. He’s my work boyfriend. Overall it’s really unorganized (which is why I got hired), laid back, bike friendly, and the easiest commute of my life. And the people, I love the people so far. I think a few of them could become good friends.
• Biking – I have biked to work, and got lost trying to come home. Yes, only me. Suck it. I can’t bike this week due to the monthly rebellion of my uterus, but I will get back in the saddle shortly.
• I’m on Googlemaps – if you google my address, go down my side street, you will see me sitting on the porch, smoking. It’s from last summer. Just to make sure, I had Streetview slide down the street a little further, and sure as shit, there was our car. I don’t know why, but it amused me.
• The Green Microgym - I joined a gym, but one with a special twist. Go to the link, and you will see what I mean. It’s about 20 blocks from the house, an easy bike ride, and I plan on taking advantage of their REALLY killer hours. The Owner, Adam, was super nice and very excited about the battery systems on the bikes. When I told him I worked for a solar company, we kind of geeked out about watts and whatnot. I’m a total dork, but I thought it was right to support a local business trying to make a difference. Besides, I got in on the introductory deal and my membership is less than 30 bucks a month for the life of the membership. How can I go wrong?

I didn’t do it.. – I didn’t watch the debate. I should have. Then I could participate in all the great conversations everyone is having today. D and I went to the Blue Moose on Fremont and had our normal Wednesday dinner. We were the only ones in the place. I think most people watched the debate. But I didn’t have to! I have Twitter! I watched everyone’s reaction while I munched on my dinner and drank my wine. Honestly, I meant to record it, but what’s done is done.

My BIL is leaving for an overseas tour a lot sooner than expected. He’s not a front-lines kind of guy, but he will be in danger. The whole fucking region is a war zone and scares me. She’s being the stoic air force wife, knowing she will have to rally without him. We joke, because D and I have a hard time being apart. when I go away for school, it’s difficult. We are joined at the forehead. But Lex and G are fine, moving through the relationship wiht all the bumps and bruises that come with deployment.

Keeping it positive - My job – I am a part of something bigger. The standards by which most people measure success would not apply with this job. The pay hasn’t pissed me off yet, but I haven’t gotten my first paycheck. I know, soon, I will get moved into more responsibility. Right now, I’m treading water, but it feels good. My coworkers are all very different from places I’ve worked before – they are cynical but hopeful, funny but dark, and always prone to blaming something on “your mother.” There are very few people in the office most of the day, but those people make me laugh. And I found out the woman they hired before me bailed after day 2. I kind of understand. The place isn’t organized. And I lost sleep the first few days. The rhythm of chaos feels strange to me. There are no protocols on how to do things, no lists, no set of parameters. While on one end, it’s freeing, I realize I like structure, which is weird to admit. I started today less filled with panic, and took a risk by taking charge. It’s working for me, and the office. At least, no one’s bitching to my face yet.

Biking to work – Today, I biked to work. And it took me ten minutes to get there. It took me almost a half hour to get home though. I was carrying a bag, riding with wind, and going up a big frackin’ hill. D told me I will get faster, and I know I will. Start small. It’s the best place to start.

Cold Toes… – It’s lovely today.

**** Okay so this is going to take a couple days to finish. But that’s the start of the housecleaning. More to follow later. I hope you had a lovely new year

When he jumps up to the couch, he cries. When he walks up the steps, he cries. He doesn’t even try to get into bed now. He sits, and waits, until D picks him up and puts him into the bed. When he pushes up, he cries. If you’ve ever been to my house, you know what madness it is when we first come home. But Pip, while is usually the instigator, hangs back with less energy. It makes me sad. I made a little nest for him in my blankets on the couch and am considering heading home during lunch to check on him. I love that damn dog. And Puck, ever time Pip makes that gawdaful screech, looks at us like we just abused him or something. This morning, when I started to get ready for work, he seemed to be doing a little better. If he’s not 85% tomorrow, then it’s off to the vet for him.

I volunteered at Wordstock this weekend. They ran a very tight ship, highly organized. I think next year I will volunteer again. It was a lot of fun, and I got a very blurry picture of Stormtroopers (I was working and couldn’t get any closer).

My sister came for a brief visit. We played Little Big Planet together, or as she calls it, Scary Monkey game. I think she had more fun dressing her sack-girl up than she did playing the game itself. I love having her in town. And we took her to Cup and Saucer.

I still feel under the weather. Everyone at work has the plague and I think I finally caught it. I’m tired, full of boogers and the urge to sneeze. I think a nap would fix it, but they don’t schedule nap time into our work day. But they should, damnit!

Dr. Roberts called and said the mass is gone, or more importantly, now she doesn’t think there was ever a mass. When a set of blood vessels clumps together, it usually means that the body is feeding nutrients to a mass, which could be cancer. But I took the wait and see approach. We chose to wait 1 month, to see if the diet change and the drugs shrank the mass. Now she thinks the diet change and the drugs healed an exposed burst blood vessel in the bladder. It can look the same as something growing because of the concentration of blood. He doesn’t need surgery. He doesn’t need anything, except to stay on that stinky food she has him on. That’s not going to disappoint him one bit.

And I can stop the drugs now. She thinks they helped with the inflammation.

Oh! And the wormy issue — they used to sell pills to feed to the cat in order to get rid of the worms. Now they have this liquid which you apply on the neck like flea medicine. I can’t tell you how relieved I am. My cat likes to channel Freddie Kruger when you try to put anything near his face, including pills. Although, when D and I tried to apply the stuff, he freaked out and tried to bite me. Poor guy had a rough day, and he tried to suck up 5 minutes later.

While the job prospects really buoyed my mood, knowing my Valentine is okay has kept me on cloud 9 all night. I think the tide is turning on my luck. I really do.

Back to the interview. The drive didn’t take me as long as I first thought it would. Let’s be honest – I got there a half hour early. So as not to look like a stalker, I sat in the car around the corner and listened to NPR until the time came. I played Tetris on my phone. I re-read my resume (I brought an extra copy). I finally got nervouse. When I walked in, the entire staff, that being 7 people total, were in a production meeting in the manager’s office. He reminded me of a thin-bearded Santa. When they finished, he invited me into his office. He seemed impressed with my computer skills and my organization skills. I played up what I know, and tried to charm him. Basically, I rocked the interview. That’s the funny thing about me, when I interview, I get the job. My Mom sounded surprised, being that I have such a problem with strangers most of the time. But honestly, what do I have to lose? I need a job, even if it is in Beaverton. The job sounds similar to the one I had before, but with more direct responsibility. I would be working on a mutli-million dollar project as the 2nd Project Coordinator. He would deal with the big stuff, and I would make sure he’s getting his stuff done. I met the rest of the staff, and they all seemed really nice. There are 2 other women, one is the office manager and the other is a PM. They both seem like beer and chips kind of women, and I liked that. When I finished the interview, he walked me around the office, and I felt at home. It’s small, intimate, but I think it could work. I drove home feeling quite pleased with myself. He told me I would find out by Wednesday.

And I just got off the phone with the office manager. They want me to come in tomorrow for a 2nd interview. This is a good sign.

I also have a 2:00 phone interview today with another company I was really interested in. It seems the Fates and steered me towards the construction world, no matter how much I would like to change that. The software companies I applied to sent me a curt “thanksbutnothanks” so I’m going with this flow. Honestly, I need a job, and as long as it pays, I’m good with that.

I am still waiting to pick up Valentine from the vet. He’s going in for an ultrasound on his bladder. Unfortunatly when they did the thermometer up the butt, they found worms. I’ve treated both cats for worms before. This is becoming a pain in the ass. So, I have to nuke the entire house, change the litterbox again, and vaccuum. Joy.

I really hate worms.

And now, back to more writing!

One just thunked the window. God, I hate that sound.

I had this whole paragraph about how much I loved cereal, but it made no sense. The Cliff’s Notes version – I love granola that’s flavored like granola, not like coconut or mango. Raisins are okay, but only sometimes.

Yesterday had to be one of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time. The good thing about rapid cycling is that I know the mood will pass. That doesn’t make it hurt any less. For the first time since last November, I pulled out the box knife. It sat on my desk. I cried. And then I put it away. I did not cut. I can’t say that will happen every time I have the urge, but it worked this time. The scar on my left arm reminds me how ugly this illness can be. Cutting and manic-depression are not mututally exclusive, but I’ve known several people who suffered from both at the same time. D wants to look into insurnance so that I can get back on meds. I honestly think I agree with him now. At first I didn’t want to do it, but he made a good point last night. I love living in Portland. I love what it offers and I love what I can do here. But I’ve been looking through a cloud of crazy since last summer. I’m contstantly distracted by trying to keep things in check, to not lose it. Our relationship has suffered. The older I get, it seems the worse it gets. It’s just hard sometimes. Today I am much better. I woke up, almost cheerful. I’ve been job hunting. I’m writing this post. I called the vet to schedule Val’s surgery (she’s supposed to call me back). The simplest acts, showering, walking, eating – become impossibly difficult when I’m in my lows. And with the mania, well I’m a brilliant writer who can’t focus on a clear thought.

/sigh

The french braid thing comes from yesterday as well. I had an interview I blew off. I got up at 6:30, showered, braided my hair, put on makeup, dressed. And then I fell apart. I e-mailed the lady and told her I had a family emergency. It was just with a temp agency, not a real job offer. But I just couldn’t do it. And then I shut off my phone and turned off my computer. D got very worried…he can see these swings coming pretty early. And he said to me the other day that he felt like he couldn’t help me anymore, that he didn’t have the cure for the moodswings. But he does. His just being there makes me feel like I need to work harder to make it better. It’s not just me that’s in this mess. Being married to someone with this illness has to be hard for him.

But, that’s enough of that.

Here are little bits of stuff…

• D sold his carbon-framed bike. We need the money for Val’s surgery, but he also didn’t ride the bike much anymore. He loves his steel framed bike. We got a good deal, enough money for the surgery and any unexpected things that may come up with that.
• I completed my deadline for school —- late. With everything going on I’ve had a hard time really getting my writing done. I can’t deal with a lot of what is going on in my own life, so challenging my characters to deal with their little heap of crap has gotten impossible. I realized I’ve been cheating a little as well. Every time I have to explore character feelings, I kill them. Now, I’m having a lot of fun killing my characters, but death is starting to lose its meaning in my plot. That’s why 1st drafts rock…. I can fix this in a later draft.
• Books — I have TONS of books to read. Good stuff.
• My sister is in CO with her friends and family. I’m insanely jealous. Last summer I took a trip with her to visit, and I can’t do it right now. We don’t have the money and it would be irresponsible, but I almost feel like a week in CO would help me write. I thought isolating myself would help me finish my novel, but I need to do that at home. I can’t run to Momma’s house when I have problems here, especially when the issues are in my head. Have fun, Lex!
• Not using the car has challenged D and I to find creative solutions to our issues. We walk to New Seasons. We bike to the pet store. We don’t go to Fred Meyer’s (it’s down Broadway..and down the VERY steep part of 33rd), we haven’t gone to the movies. But we have gone downtown to Powell’s and bebopped here and there. He has a transit pass. I’m using our change, but I’ve come to love riding the bus. It’s fun, of course we aren’t riding it during rush hour. I think that would be the suck.
• I’ve gotten a few “thankyoubutno” responses to my job applications. It’s disheartening. I think that was a part of my getting bummed out.
• I’m still not smoking, although I’ve wanted one recently. Must. Resist. Smoking.

I think I need to reiterate that I’m much better today. I feel like I have a handle on life, that I can do what I need to do when I need to do it, I just feel a little isolated. But that’s the hazard of not having a job. Someone freaking hire me!

And now, the puppies are demanding a walk. Fucking dogs are spoiled.

One thing I find interesting, as more of a general comment, is that when I go back and look at the archives, I still self-edit. I didn’t get fully into how hurt and pissed I was when Natalia left me in Gainseville, nor the misery that ensued when I found out indirectly via Myspace that A got married, nor how the Dogfather’s distance turned into total silence. Those things really effected me. They still do. Those events laid the groundwork for the current issue(s), and how I will ultimately handle them. And again, I will try to figure out what I did wrong. But sometimes people don’t do anything wrong. Could I have been a better person, a better friend? Shit, yes. We all can, but I don’t think I’m to blame this time. With others, absolutly. I’ve paid my karma debt…. this one ain’t on me. But again….it’s time to move on.

And move on I have. D and I set about finalizing the bday plans for this weekend. Miss Amandapants, D and I are all going to a vineyard for the day. Lex won’t make it down to later in the day so she and Gregg are going to do the slumber party thing. Actually, this entire thing has turned into a slumber party. We all plan on getting pretty sloshed at the restraunt. Why? Because of the margartia list, and I loves me some margaritas.

Anyone got a spare air mattress? I don’t want Amanda driving home after margaritas. It’s just dangerous (and that woman is too fucking accident prone)…

The job hunt isn’t going terribly well. I’ve gotten no nibbles on my resume so far, but one can always hope. I just have to remind myself that I don’t have it the worst out there.

BTW…. I really like this song from Ladytron.

Here are some blanket observations from the last week or so:

• Batman was fucking fantastic. Brilliant. I have one beef & that’s Christian Bale’s “growly” voice when he’s the Batman. It bugs me…but the rest was fantabulous.
• When it comes down to brass tacks, family is all we have. Whether we include others within that sacred circle is a whole different issue, but I know when shit’s down, my sister and my husband will be there for me, and I’m a lot luckier than  most.
• I read KL’s blog daily, and I think I need a dictonary for military life. They have so many fucking acronyms! I want to lend a friendly shoulder and all, but I don’t understand half of what she talks about. It’s the same with my sister…. she has to translate mid-conversation. Does anyone have a handbook or a flyer I can read?
• I think Portland Roasting coffee is better than Stumptown. I may get flogged for this, but this girl’s got an opinion.
• No one lives in a vaccuum. This is where the hypocrite in me really needs to wake up and smell the bullshit, but I must remind the world that every action has a reaction, no matter how small. And that’s everyone’s responsibility.
• For school we have to post on a forum. It’s part of the required class structure. Race has been brought up as an issue in the program. People think WPF is too white (or doesn’t address other racial issues). I had to keep my mouth shut most of the time because I don’t think that’s what a school forum should be about. It’s supposed to be about writing, but I have to give the guy who brought the subject up a lot of credit. Even in this PC-loving world, there are underlying issues that a lot of people are uncomfortable discussing. That being said, there’s also the issue of beating a dead horse when people don’t want to address the issue. It’s a hard balance to maintain.
• I think websites don’t need a freaking soundtrack. I’ve spent a lot of time on the web, for jobs and such and the sites that start with audio really irritate me. I want to continue to listen to Ladytron or Dave Gahan without some elevator-music knockoff of techno blaring at me. /end rant
• My library doesn’t have the two books recommended by my mentor. I’ll have to buy them, but I really don’t have any room left on my shelves!

And here are some beagles for the rest of your day…

In spite of the warning from my mother, I will bankrupt myself to save this cat. D’s more logical when it comes to that kind of stuff, but I will sell most of what I have in order to pay for his surgeries. I know it won’t come down to that….but I would.

As for the job thing….. that’s for a private post.

But I’m through with my 3:

1. Grannie died.
2. Lost my job.
3. Cat with a tumor

I could also add a number of other shittastic things that have happended but it’s not about being negative. I don’t feel like I’m struggling right now. But being manic depressive, that could change in five minutes. It’s fun being able to logically contradict yourself at every turn.

D and I are going to the Night Ride tonight. 2,000 people will be downtown, with bikes, riding through the streets with smiles and stuff. We are going to have a great time.

I hope you are having a good weekend. Be grateful for what you have, because tomorrow it could be gone.

And go eat a doughnut. Life’s too short to live without sweets.

She called him “geriatric” and I was slightly offended. He’s a very distinguished, frisky 9 years old. Back of the ageism, lady. (then she stuck a thermometer up his ass…. I think that bothers me more)

So I guess there is a benefit to being “let go.” At least I was home to see how bad Val was.

The bill is already close to 400 clams. What ever. It’s my cat. I don’t care what it costs.

And I already filed for unemployment.

And we may miss Hellboy depending on what happens to Valentine.

Send my kitty love.

And there are more, but I have to leave work now and take Pip for his shots. He’s going to get poked up the butt. He’s having tushy issues, and I’m tired of watching him scootch his ass on my clean-ish carpets. They are probably going to do something to his glands….. *shudder* I hate that part, and they aren’t even CLOSE to my ass. And I have to collect a stool sample, which means I have to walk the beasties, in the rain, to make sure I get the poop. That dog better know how much I love him.

And you know, that’s how I REALLY thank people… I start talking about dog anal glands. Yes, I am the shit…. hehehe…get it…. shit…. AHAHAHA.

/end caffinated lunacy

And now to the weekend recap.

Thursday – We saw Indy @ the coolest theater ever – Cincetopia. Good food, and I’m not talking Enzian “frozen pizza disguised as gourmet” food – it was damn good food. I had a spinach artichoke dip, and D had mac n cheese with Gorgonzola. We also, because I’m a total lush, bought a bottle of wine. We met this cool biker named Eric, who just decided to go and see a movie since he was on his motorcycle and it was raining. So he came in, all covered in leather, and we chatted about animals who travel, food, where to go in Oregon, and the fact that it was his 44th birthday. The dude was seriously cool, very friendly, he giggled and he had these really cute freckles on his nose. He was born in Oregon, and loved Portland, but couldn’t afford to live there, so he lived in the Coove. He told us he sculpted grotesque garden gnomes. He was just a lot of fun. The movie itself was a good time as well. It’s a summer popcorn flick, and I loved that it didn’t take itself too seriously. Not my favorite, by far, but I still had a damn fine time.

Friday – Worked, and then D and I went to Mississippi Station for dinner and some wine. Amandapants called us on her way to the Gorge for the Sasquatch Festival. I felt bad, because she had 4 hours to drive (I think she called me around 6) and would be erecting her tent in cold rain. D and I ate dinner, and chilled outside for a while. The weather wasn’t cooperating this time though, so we went back to the house, and continued to beverage. Now I made the mistake of going to Fred Meyer and getting these bags – if you buy 6 bottles of wine you get 10% off…..so…. I did. That meant we had too much wine onhand for the night. That meant we drank too much. But D and I talked, like we haven’t in ages, about anything and everything. And the wine flowed, and I fell asleep and the world was spinning.

Saturday - Good morning Hangover! D was kind enough to take the beasties to the groomers so I could sleep a little. Then we walked to our breakfast place, where they were kind enough to fill me full of stuff so I could stop feeling bad. The sun was trying to shine through long breaks in the clouds, but it was far from the shitty weather we’d had earlier in the week. Then D and I walked to New Seasons, grabbed groceries for our trip and headed home. The Dogs still weren’t finished so we also went to Moosey, had lunch, and as soon as I got home, I needed a nap. I passed out. D got the call that the dogs were finished, and again, went alone to take care of them. I’m a shitty beaglemommy. But they got me back, pouncing me on the bed, bouncing me into wakefulness, and ushering us out of the house, ready to head to Lex’s house.

That part of the trip, I have to say, was blissful. The traffic between Portland and Tacoma can get quite awful (for you Florida folk – think I-4, but down to 2 lanes, for a lot of fucking miles). But everyone left on Friday, so I put on the cruise control and just chilled. Till I saw the first State Trooper. Okay, sloooooow down. So then I was only going 10 miles over the speed limit. Then I saw my second State Trooper and D gave me that look “you get no stuff (see: video games, bags, music, books, etc) if you get a ticket.” I slowed the car down to 5 miles over and we watched the pretty lights of the police sparkled and whirl from the side of the road throughout the 2 hours it took to get to Lex’s house. But there was no traffic. I was happy.

We got to her house, and I started a pasta dinner – home made sauce, veggie pasta (you know, the carrot, spnich, beet, and that white-stuff pasta), and fresh garlic bread. My sister recently got involved in Pampered Chef. For me, it could be dangerous, but I was safe becase D stood in the kitchen as she did her little song and dance, and the only thing he didn’t scowl about was the knife. It’s a good knife. Me wants sharp thingies. Anyway, so I finished Dinner. My one nephew – J – will eat anything, and thinks I’m gods fucking gift when it comes to cooking. And that is why I love him best out of that whole family (It’s okay Lex…. I know the smack is coming). My BIL also liked the food, but I think he just gets excited because it didn’t come pre-made out of a can. But the one I was most impressed with was my sister, who doesn’t like to try new things. She didn’t dislike the sauce, it just wasn’t…

*hurk*

Ragu

*puke*

We finished dinner, drank, and then went to bed.

Sunday – The BBQ started at 11. Yes, that is very early for Meow and her ever sleepy huzzie, but the neighbor who loves us was cooking our mushrooms special, so we had to get up and get out to the park by 11.

We got there around 11:30…it was close.

One thing I’ve noticed, and I’ve commented on this to my friends IRL, is that my sister puts up with a lot of shit from people on base. There are cliques that are impossible to ignore, and as such, it takes me a while to get comfy. When everyone was eating, I felt out of place. D and I took the dogs to the field and let them run, and when we came back, the women were sitting with their kids and the menfolk were scraching their nuts and congraduating each other on their manliness. Then someone pulled out a baseball, and all the boys went to play. That left us, the womenfolk, D and the dogs, to bullshit. D and I took to the field again, trying to keep Puck from eating deer shit (and rolling in it —that bastard ALWAYS gets funky after the groomer….he goes for starcrunches, opossom poop…what ever. I think he resents getting bathed and wearing those cute little bandandas), and running around exhausting the dogs. Lex’s doggy – Smeagol – okay his name is Casey, but he looks like Gollum. I’m just sayin’…

D and the rest of the group ended up playing kickball. I didn’t. Why? I was bleeding like a dying animal, and someone had to keep the dogs from going apeshit. Everyone, and I mean everyone, got burned. Okay, except for one of the neighbors, but all the white people, like my husband – —— looooobster time.

And I really do have more to write….the best dinner, my attempt at asparagus, the drive home, my exhaustion, but work calls. Let’s see if I get unlazy enough to ride when I get home. Or I could take a nap.

• D graduates next semester. My mother wanted him to walk. You know, she’s into that kind of thing and D totally isn’t. But he’s about ready to move onto his MFA… but he’s still deciding whether or not to do Illustration and Animation. More updates on that later….
• 30 Days of Night – I have no freaking business watching horror movies. I’m a total pussy. We watched it during the day. We watched it together. We watched it sober. I’m not going to sleep without the lights on for a long time. Your idea of scary and my idea of scary are probably very different. I’m a total wuss. That being said, I think I liked it but I won’t know till my freaking out wears off.
• Happy Spring! Happy Zombie Bunny Jesus Made of Chocolate Day! Or something…
• I missed Obama on Friday. Surprisingly my boss thought I’d ditch work to go to the rally. I would have, if I had tickets. I found out later they they didn’t turn people away. I should have just gone and stood outside and waited to see if I could get in. He’ll be back, I hope.
• We’ve spent a lot of time recently with friends and family but it was really nice to sleep in this weekend. I forgot how nice it is to snooze with the beasties and D.
• We took the pups to a dog park this weekend. While labs are VERY popular in Portland, we met another beagle-momma. The girl-beagle was big like ours (as in tall…they aren’t fat. Don’t give them a complex) and a black saddle tri color. She was a nice girl, the woman, not the dog. Although the dog was pretty sweet. But the woman and I talked about living in Portland, she recommended a park to us in Vancouver. I hope we see her again. She was really nice.
• The Riches are back on and the final season of Battlestar is due to start in a few weeks. Finally.
• A car caught fire behind my work last week. It was kinda crazy. I took pictures.
• C&B were kind enough to cook us dinner for D’s birthday and they had the best cupcakes ever. I heart dark chocolate.
• My hair is getting really freaking long. It’s good stuff. Now if only I could keep my damn hair ties away from the cats.
• While spring is here, it was 34 yesterday morning. My poor trees are freaking out.
• I know I have more to say. My life can’t be this boring, but I’m tired now. Sweet dreams !

And thanks to all of you who sent happy vibes, text messages, prayers, and asked for advice. It may not have seemed like it…but it means a lot.

We went to the pound last night. It’s not an activity I would reccomend. Although I stayed out of the dog section, the cats were just as heartbreaking. Multonomah County does have a very nice facility. It doesn’t smell and the animals look sad, rather than crazed. But as I walked by each metal cage, as I searched the strange faces for a trace of my cat, I remembered the last time I was in a place like that. It was when we adopted him. The missing cat books, the DOA book, and the cages held no sign of Valentine. I don’t know whether or not I was relieved. It was hard to look at those animals. Most of them only have 3 days to live. God, I hate this system.

We flyered the light poles last night. Part of me hopes someone found him, is giving him a warm home and some good food. But they won’t understand that’s he’s a pukey cat – that he’s obsessive about the litter box and will piss in your sink if it’s dirty. He doesn’t like to be dirty and will clean himself with an OCD fervor.

On top of this, I’m getting really sick. It feels like I’m snorting razor blades right now. I’m blowing my nose so much that the piercing is starting to bleed (that’s really not a big deal…). I’m hurting, in my soul and in my body. All I want to do is to curl up with my cat and sleep. But I can’t do either….at least not right now.

I had a dream last night that the floor had rotted out and that was how he got out. Then I dreamt that he brought in the rats that are living under the house, and that was why he went outside.

I slept in the living room, hoping that I’d hear him mewing under the house. But I didn’t it was just a dream.

We saw him last night, but D’s been home all day and no cat. I’ve tried calling him. D tried treats. I don’t know what to do.

We got some great news this week. D just took a 1 month contract from Nike for some work. We are so freaking broke right now, it’s not even funny, so this is a great break for us. It’s just contract work, and a limited term at that, but it’s something and it will keep us in tofu and heat for one more month. After that, it’s back to the grind of finding jobs. As for me, I’m blanketing Portland with my resume, but nothing’s come of it yet. As many times as I’ve rewritten it, I thought I would have a bite by now, but it’s all for nothing. I’m hopeful some of the recent positions I applied for will pan out. Gotta keep the chin up, that’s all we can do.

It snowed on Saturday!. Yeah, it was for 5 minutes, and nothing stuck on the ground — but I live somewhere it snows! How freaking awesome is that? Mt. Hood is blanketed by the snow now. I wish we had the money to go skiing (and the car — Vader won’t make it up the mountain without snow tires) , but that’s for next year.

We saw the Golden Compass on Saturday. I will just tell you that I loved it, and I haven’t read the books. D didn’t care for it and he’s read the books. He said the movies lacked the depth of the novels, and that we were spoiled by Peter Jackson’s interpretations of the LOTR novels . I didn’t care. I had a lot of “holy shit that was cool” moments, and I left the theatre happy. They played the Narnia preview – I hated the first movie. I won’t see the second.

So, I’m still cat-sitting. Bax and Margo are in my very lovely basement, chillin out with the fluffy pillows and blankets and every single cat toy in my house. They are here because Bax was taking out his anger at Amandapants on her clothing and peeing on her bed. We thought the basement would be easier for them. They’ve been there before, when Amanada moved to Portland, and because it’s not their home territiory, I didn’t think they would be as apt to show their displeasure. I was wrong. I went downstairs yesterday morning. Both a shoe box and my empty laundry basket had piss in them. Then I woke up this morning to find Valentine pissing in my sink! WTF? It’s nearly kitty death time.

Okay, now that I’m caught up on stuff, I eagerly await the arrival of miss C and Amanapants so that my crew gets back in town.Have a great Tuesday.

I’ve run 2 days in a row now. Taking responsibility for my illness is hard most of the time. I want to just take a pill, and then feel better. Not having insurance, a job, or money kind of kills that possibility. The solution is moving my ass. I’m not running fast, or elegantly, but my  heart rate rises and I can feel my muscles moving. It’s good stuff. D walks the dogs the opposite route through the park. They are good running partners, but they are easily distracted, so they often yank my arms off. The new game is called “hunt for mommy.” D lets them off the lead and they run up to all the runners looking for me. If Pip sees me, he hauls ass. I should take a video or something, because he can REALLY run. What’s amazing is that he can jump high enough to hit D’s shoulder, and he does it just for fun. I love my doggies.  If you know anything about me at all, you know that I love Ein dogs.  There are several that frequent the park. No matter how hard I’m running, or how out of breath I am, I laugh and smile each time I see my beagles, or the Corgis. They simply make me happy.

The Halloween Party – My sister and Amanadapants did my hair, put my makeup on, and cursed the gods because I look cute when I’m trying to dress up as preggers white trash. I’m still trying to figure that out. Was that really a compliment, or were they just being nice because I was wearing a mu-mu, and a girl needs all the love she can get in that kind of outfit. Amanda was a man —- the best part — her freaking chest hair. She has the pictures. When she gets back from traveling for work, I will share. Overall we had fun. Lex and D and I stayed up till almost 4 in the morning, giggling while we smoked in the fireplace and recalling the days of our past. It was small, and a good starter-party for the coming years. I can’t wait till next year.

Writing for school – I am plodding through some reviews and critiques. I already have a list of books I want/need/lust for after we get jobs. When I wrote the reviews of the books I read for the semester on my other site, the author of one of the books responded. I love the internet. I’ve got a lot of work to do (what’s new?) but I think I can manage it.

Thanksgiving -  My family is coming to the house for a nice dinner of tofurkey and roasted animal flesh. I’m not eating any of their fleshy stuff, but I’m going to make them ALL try the tofurkey. It’s a must in my house. I’m very excited. My Mom’s never seen this place, and my little brother needs to fall in love with Portland so I can get him to move here. That’s a part of their visit, although he’s not aware yet that his sisters are going to be beating him down with the idea of moving away from Colorado. With the demise of my parents’ marriage, I honestly think it would be best if he got the hell out of dodge. Granted, Mom would be alone in Colorado, but it’s not that far from here to there. Mom and littlebro are flying into Seattle to meet up with Lex and her family. Then they are driving down the Wednesday before thanksgiving, and then they will spend the night here. But it gets more and more exicitng. Lex and I met a couple when we went to Colorado in August (remember the trip to “save” my brother?). They were staying at the B&B and we  ended up hanging out with them all night, exchanging numbers, and promising to hook up again. They travel a lot, and coincidentally they were at the B&B  the other night. Normally they come to Portland (they live in Houston) for  Thanksgiving. She’s got family here, but they planned on staying @ home because her family is going out of town. They are very tight with Mom, so when Mom told them she was coming to Portland, they decided to come anyway. So, Angel and Chris will be another addition to the insanity at my house. As it stands now we will have: Me, D, Mom, Lex + 5, littlebro, Amandapants, Angel and Chris. It’s going to be madness, and fun. I’ve got “that” kitchen where everyone can hang out. I’m going to try to set up the basement for the spawnlings (oh yes — ALL three of them) so they can play without being bothered. I really can’t wait.  (that was very incoherent, but I’m too lazy to edit right now…so hush)

Cat Sitting – Amandapants is out of town for her new job. I’m watching her kitties. Poor Bax is seriously depressed. I think he misses her. She’s going to be back in two weeks, and when she is home, I think I am going to ground her to her house. Her kitties miss her. But I do love going to her apartment. It’s cute.

I’ve got a creature community in my back yard now. My squirrel feeder is feeding not only the two species of squirrels, but finches, this small black and white bird and a wierd kind of bluejay/raven thing that’s freaking huge. It’s also attracted the neighbor’s cat. The freaking thing is stalking all my little animal friends, so I send Pip out after his/her ass. Pip LOVES to chase things. It makes him happy, so now he sits on the gold chair and stares out the back window, waiting for that stupid cat.

Oh, and I beat Ratchet and Clank. I love that game.

Now I’m off to make enchiladas. More semi-interesting crap tomorrow.