Moody Meow

I count a lot of things these days….

• calories - I’m using an app on my iPhone to track them. It’s amazing, when confronted with the reality of what and how much I eat, how little I should be consuming. But it feels good to be making that change. If I am careful and conscious, I can still eat what I want, just in smaller quantities.
• words - in going through my novel, I’m short on my total wordcount. It’s not that big of a deal. Being short allows me the room to flesh out some of the thinner parts of my prose. There are whole aspects of the world that I haven’t explained clearly. The initial writing process kills me, but going back and molding the words - that’s what tickles my pickle.
• days - Mom and Derick will arrive in Seattle on Tuesday, I think. David and I will head up there on Wednesday afternoon. That leaves my cats alone, and pissy for two days. I can’t wait to see Mom and my brother. It’s been a year since we were all together. And I think it will help since my BIL is overseas for the holidays.
• gold - I’m addicted to Fable II, so when I have spare time, I play. Although, with the economy setup in the game, I make a shit load of gold even when I’m not on the Xbox. How? I bought as much real estate as I could. At least, in game, I haven’t hit a real estate bubble. If only life imitated video games.
• bumps - Puck, our older beagle, has been slowly developing these fatty cysts under his skin. Right now they look like little lumps at his hips. But I’ve noticed a small one growing on the side of one of his legs. Now, sometimes there are just lumps from when he slams himself into doorways when trying to make a tight turn while chasing Pip, but they are worrisome. Beagles are hyper, if you didn’t know. They need a “slow” button. Or I should be able to use that time spell from Fable II to slow him down… /endgeek
• dollars - D wants a particualr jacked for Santamas, and I promised him I would try to scrounge up the cash to get it for him. The end of the year sucks for us because I have school the first week in January and I have to pay for the flight, hotel, car, etc. It’s just too fucking costly. On top of that, because David is a contractor, he will not get paid for the week that the company is shut down. That’s a LOT of money. We are tightening our belts (metaphorically and literally), and gearing up to spend less in the coming months. It’s the only way we will make it (but ain’t that true for everyone?)
• hours - It’s gray, rainy and will be dark by the time I arrive back at the house. But I love the warmth of my home, how it cocoons my soul and is filled with happy sounds and smells (except the cat litter, which I must change —- tonight). Soon I will be back at the casa, but for now, I’ll count down the hours….if not the minutes.

Please don’t fart and then leave my office. You should share in the misery.

Kthxbye

Had a lovely post written and Wordpress ate it.

On with the day…

Apparently, the shit that hit the fan on Friday, stuck to the blades, twirled around all weekend long, and stank up the building on Monday. Came into the office for an early meeting. After the meeting, one of the office staff took their last trip out our front door. I can’t say it was unexpected, but it’s never easy watching someone you consider a friend get laid off. When he told me, I’m sure I looked a little shocked. It’s an awkward situation. Now I understand how Chris felt when I kicked the door opened. Except he had more class than I did - no kicking doors, no tears, just goodbye and good luck. He’ll be okay.

My ankle hurts. Why?

Because the bowling alley tried to kill me. I’m glad there is no photographic evidence of my spectacular fall, sliding on my bent ankle down toward the pins. Have you ever noticed how slippery those floors are, especially when you CROSS THE FUCKING LINE? Yeah, totally learned that on Saturday. The laughter erupted like thunder behind me. I’m sure my face was red. D, who hates bowling, finished the game for me. Why were we bowling? Ms. Amandapants’ bday. She’s getting old now (hehehehehe). I bought her sock monkey slippers because she likes to steal my slippers when we have movie night. And I also bought her an antique camera. It doesn’t work, but she may get it fixed.

When Amanda and I first became friends, I went over to her house to study grammar for Dr. Law’s evil Grammar class. We spent hours pouring over adverbial clauses, and prepositions. I still have all of my notes from that class (and that awful book). But when you entered Amanda’s house, on the wall with the wedding pictures were beauiful older cameras, in perfect shape. So when D and I were shopping for her present, he found the camera sitting high on a shelf (meaning, out of my lower line of sight). I wish it worked, but sometimes you get what you get.

In other news, D and I went to Lola’s on Friday night with Adam from the Green Microgym (and his wife and a few of the trainers). We had dinner at McMenamins (Mmmm veggie burger) and then went upstairs to get our groove on. Two mistakes I made - wearing cute shoes that hurt my feet and underestimating the power of Ruby. Ruby is one of their beers, and I thought buying a glass or three would be okay. But they were six bucks and huge! And I think I had three. It’s the only thing that kept my brain from bubbling out of my ears. I hear beer congeals the brain…. yeah. So, my version of 80’s music and Lola’s are VERY freaking different. I expect to hear some Bauhaus, New Order, Love and Rockets, with a little dash of goth. But that’s not Lolas, where I heard hair bands, cheesy (and not in the entertaining way) new wave, and enough Madonna to make my eyes bleed. That’s not to say we didn’t have fun. We did, it just wasn’t what I expected. But I ended up with blisters on the balls of my feet. They are small, but painful.

Oh, and the parking garage for the Crystal Ballroom is hellish. I will go and take pictures of it because it’s six shades of creepy.

David and I also went to Ignite Portland 4. It rocked. My pictures sucked. And David is finally part of the twitterverse. My honey’s all grow’d up.

Now back to my shittastic monday.

• I was trying not to check my e-mail every half hour since I finally sent that e-mail to my father. But I was pleasantly surprised to get an invitation to go dancing on Friday. Shake your grooooove thang!
• Rainy weather makes me sleepy and contemplative.
• I am addicted to being busy right now. The plans are kind of nuts.  Thursday: Ignite Portland Friday: Dance dance dance Saturday: Miss Amandapants’s birthday Sunday: Women’s group and James Bond (mmmm bond), then on Monday - rinse and repeat.
• I REALLY need to return everyone’s phone calls. Since I’m still not smoking, I am on the phone a lot less. Some days I do miss my cloves.
• Watching Biggest Loser  at the gym, I realized that I really don’t like mean people. I hate talking about a reality show like it’s real life, but some of those contestants are just complete douchebags, and are less interested in changing their life than they are about winning the money. The money is a motivator, people. If you are a bitch on TV, I can’t imagine how awful you must be in real life (yes, I understand there is clever editing, but hateful behavior doesn’t need much to make it worse).
• I am really looking forward to Ignite Portland tonight!
• I fell asleep last night watching the Hellboy II extras. 2 hours of “how to” makes me really happy.
• The hubbie is now on twitter!!! Follow him ! @DMcEachern
• And I joined identi.ca, because Twitter is being bitchy today.
• And that is all for now.

The butterfly, or beagle-gate, effect rocked our house this weekend. It was the culmination, in my opinion, of our never ending fight with the poorly placed counters and two rooms with more useless space than necessary. Because our house was a flip, many things were overlooked, you know, like an actual plug for the fridge, or flat floors, cabinet drawers that open without hitting the cabinet closest to its left side. When we moved into the house, the refrigerator was in the “dining area,” but that area was loosely defined because there is no wall, just a change in the floor from tile to wood. We moved the fridge into the sunroom in the back of the house, next to the door for the basement and the kitchen. But there was no plug in that corner. Instead, we let an extension cord lay on the floor, ready to be tripped upon in the doorway to the basement. I’m telling you, the options were slim.

This tale has a second element —- beagles. Our cat box is in the basement, with the door constantly ajar for Voodoo and Valentine. The cats also like playing hurdles, jumping over our shitty babygate in the middle of the night, but that’s another issue. Then D and I have to come up and down the stairs for laundry or cat box duty, unlock the gate and watch for the dogs so they don’t dash downstairs. D’s solution - one of those nifty gates that install on a hinge and are permanent. That way we can swing the gate closed behind us, lock it, and the beagles (Puck) can’t come downstairs. Great idea. Except the cord for the fridge, which when hanging down in the doorway, kept our new gate from shutting.

So we moved the fucking thing all the way in the back of the sun room.

There’s another problem there. I stored my elliptical machine in the sun room. With two desks in the dining room (my office) I didn’t have room for a ginormous piece of exercise machinery. Solution? Take one of the desks downstairs. We are now storing the 2nd desk with all the other “I should do something with this but it will have to wait until we get a bigger house” stuff. Then we moved my desk over so the elliptical machine fit at the window without juttig out in the middle of my office area.

So all in all, we moved - a fridge, a table, a baby gate, two desks, and an elliptical machine all for one little gate.

And the house looks 100% better.

Knowing I already got you misty eyed, I won’t go for attempt #2 here, but remember that I love you, Snoogs.

Happy Anniversary

***

And on a side note - I officially finished my novel.Today is a great day.

• I completed the letter to my father, but now can’t find the e-mail with his address. I shouldn’t be so overzealous about cleaning out my inbox.
• I will be MIA for the most part. Still so much fucking work to do.
• My sister is going to buy Fable 2 so we can play together. Dorks… yes we are.
• My  BIL is overseas now. All political leanings aside, please send little blessings his way.
• I recently received an unexpected package. Still not sure how I feel about it.
• Voted. And if you haven’t, get off your ass.
• Got a call from the vineyard I went to for my birthday. Apparently they want to ship me my wine. How spiffy.
• Told Lex we would take Casey while she is in Colorado for Christmas. So ends the conversation about our going. Which is good. D and I can’t take the time off, especially since he’s a contractor and I would be leaving for school a few weeks later.
• I am going to make a T-shirt - My sister went to Colorado and all I got was her dumbass dog (Just kidding Lex! I love Casey!)
• I am not doing Body for Life this week. How sad it is, but I need the time to finish all my last minute work (and what work isn’t last minute with me?)
• D and I planned on staying in this house for another year, especially once we read this article about how tight rental properties are.
• I missed an opportunity to meet my half sister. She was up WA visitng my former stepmother and popped by to see Lex. It’s a shame, really, that we’ve never met. But, I have hope for the future.
• And now, for more writing. (I hate doing book reviews, I like everything I read!)

My husband is gleefully hunting flies.

I married a wierdo.

If find myself reliving memories - the day my father left us in Tampa, the feeling of victory when I made him hang up the phone because I was so entirely hateful, a walk through a park in Germany as he held my hand. My first seven years, I was a Daddy’s girl. Post-divorce, I was a wreck who intended on hurting anyone and everyone in my life. I was a wounded kid with undiagnosed manic-depression, so some of the blame goes to the illness, but I won’t lie, I was a total asshole. So, although I thought parents should be impervious to the nasty shit-flinging of their children, it took me decades to realize that my parents were human too. And they had flaws.

I stopped writing or speaking to my father when I was eighteen or nineteen. I don’t know exactly when I made the decision, or even if it was a conscious one because I was buried beneath a pretty time consuming drug addiction. It wasn’t heroine or meth, but it took up a lot of space. I joke that I can’t remember most of the 90’s. It’s funny in passing conversation, but in reality it’s kind of sad. And it was during those times, when I was so emotionally raw from my experience in becoming a birthmother and moving to another state alone, that I made the choice to cut my father out of my life.

I just realized, this entry, more than most, is going to be very personal. I guess that’s my warning.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not talking about politics, but if all goes well in the world, that change will come as well. No, I am talking about fall. But it seems like Portland forgot the “color changing time” and my tree in the back yard went directly dropping all its leaves. At least give me the benefit of changing one shade of the leaves before dropping them all over the dog shit and discarded toys. Now D can tell me he can’t see the dog poop to pick up because of all the leaves.

No, we do not rake them up.

No, I don’t care.

Yes, I think my neighbors hate me. But hey, I have two beagles who like to talk to the entire NE section of Portland. I think a few leaves here and there are the least of their worries.

Okay the leaves I left from last year ARE a little annoying, I think it gives my yard a nice organic feel.

*snark*

I would like to state for the record that Mt. Vesuvius is erupting on my left temple. I am sick of being an adult with pimples. Is this the punishment for being blemish-free in my youth? I even get them on my scalp now (when it’s about that time…you know what I mean) and let me tell you, brushing your hair with a pimple at the nape of your neck HURTS. I’m almost ready to shave my head again and slather the entire thing in Clearasil.

Just kidding. I love my hair. It’s really long now. And with the weather getting a mite chilly, it’s coming in handy to keep my ears warm. Mmmm…warm ears.

After a year of living here, D and I finally went out and bought some decent pullovers. My army-green Target find just wasn’t cutting the mustard anymore. Why? It’s plain. Boring. Ugly. So we ventured to REI,in the midst of a sale. Now I was kinda sorta hip with knowing there was a sale (they advertised these adorable shoes I wanted which they did not have in stock), but that place is worse than Target on the Saturday before Christmas. Okay, it’s not that bad. But damn, those people are ALL business. Except the people in the shoes section. Let me talk to you people about manners. If you get a pair of shoes from the sweet, gray-haired, exhausted looking shoe guy, and they don’t fit — DO NOT stack them up in a little tower, pick another pair of shoes and ask for that size as well, and then leave said stack for the other overworked Shoe-lady to trip over when she’s cleaning up. And no, your kid is not cute when it’s caterwauling in the socks section.

I’m just sayin.

I found a really cute black striped pull over. It’s thin, but appropriate for our weather. The other one is a red wool blend with an off-center zipper. It’s CUTE! I also bought a pair of shoes and a water bottle. It was worth the madness.

I’m THIS ~~~~><~~~~ close to finishing my novel and when I write I like to listen to music. Now the music often depends on what I’m trying to do. If I want a really aggressive section with lots of machismo and anger - Dieselboy. If I want something kind of ethereal and whimsical - i’ll pick M83 or some shoegazer crap I have. But I found this band called Beats Antique kind of on accident when I was actually looking for one of my missing Dead Can Dance albums on iTunes. They remind me of some of the music I listened to when I took those Tribal Belly dancing classes in Orlando. So as I listened to the two albums I bought, I remembered how much fun I had. I wasn’t good during those classes. I wasn’t elegant. My arms hurt after 10 minutes, but hell, it felt really amazing to move my body. I found a tribal belly dancing class in Portland. They start with their new classes on the 25th and I’ve decided to go. It’s all about keeping healthy…and every little bit helps.

I’ve been pretty diligent about working out. No noticeable physical changes, but my moods are evening out. Bill Mahr said it best “Ask your doctor what moving your ass can do for you.” Having not been on meds for my bi-polar disorder in over a year, I’m starting to think I will be okay, as long as I work out. I’ve said it before, and I begin with great intentions but often fall off the bandwagon after a bit. That won’t happen this time. I don’t know why, but it’s like the smoking. I have fucked up. But then I stop dicking around, put the cigarettes down, go back to the gym, and I find myself back on a healthy path. One screw up can’t knock me off the wagon completely.

And now to your regularly scheduled Monday.

This is bullet-form day. I rarely have time to blog anymore with my schedule. Work is nuts, all the time, which is a good thing. I’m never bored, but there are rarely lulls that would allow me to blog. And by the time I get home, I just want to unwind.

• The Best Compliment - I finished Calie’s critique way late. I’ve been way late for most of this term, either to to emotional issues (it’s hard to write about hope when you don’t have any), technical issues, or life issues. The thing I’ve realized is that no matter how shitty my life gets, I can’t drag her into my mess. She deserves a good crit partner, and since we decided to go as a 2 person team, I’m all she’s got school wise (beyond her fucking amazing mentor). I sat down, over the course of several days, and critted the hell out of her story. I love the premise, and the world. I think she and I have similar problems in getting into a deeper POV, but she’s got an amazingly twisted mind and a fluid writing style. I read the submission all the way through several times so that I could digest things properly. When all was said and done and I turned it in to her, I waited for the e-mail saying “Moody, you bitch! Can’t you do this well?” but what I got was “You are the best crit partner ever.” She understand that my inclination to pick out things and ask questions is not beating up the story, it’s about dissecting it to make it a better story. It feels really good when someone understands and appreciates your intentions
• Going to #Wordcampdx tomorrow - I’m painfully nervous. I won’t know anyone, but I am braving the wilds anyway. What is it? Look and see. I hope to meet some interesting people, learn more about the abilities of Wordpress, and figure out how to make my writing site more interesting. I’ve been on MoodayMeow since 2003 in some ideration or another, but if I plan on becoming a professional writer when I grow up (which will be when I turn 50, I’ve decided… I have a few years) then I need to establish a professional, interesting web presence. And I love social media, so joining my blog and twitter or the other technology crack I’m addicted to — it’s good stuff. Oh! And there’s a copyright section! I had plans to put parts of my book up, but worried about copyright. Hopefully this will answer some questions. It’s an all-day event, and it won’t leave me much time for editing my own writing, but the deadline’s not till Tuesday. I should be okay.
• I had more to write, but I’m crazy busy. Maybe tomorrow?

My arms hurt too much to type. What does that mean? It was a good workout. more tomorrow.

I am really just seeing how well this iPhone app works. It’s pretty spiffy but I have a feeling that my spelling is going to be worse than normal.which is just scary.

So that’s it….. Testing!

When I changed phones, I lost much of my contact information. If you would be so kind, e-mail me your contact info. ALL of my Florida phone #’s are gone…all of them.

This time I am being a good dork and keeping them in my Address book on the computer…you know…because that makes fucking sense!

I’m drinking a red. Not much of a surprise there, but it’s called “Red.” Sometimes wine names are so profound.

I’ve got a lot to say, but I’m dead-ass tired. So, here are snippetts, because that’s all I can muster.

• Wool Coats - I thought we were headed for the heart of autumn, D and I hunted for winter coats. We bought some half assed coats last fall and froze through most of the cooler weather. This time I found a great wool coat that complements my womanly figure. I love it. It’s heavy, black, military inspired, but more fashionable. I think all that time off watching “What Not to Wear” really rubbed off on me.
• I Heart my iPhone - D and I did what irresponsible people do and finally switched phone companies with that 2k check I received from Rollins. I have wanted an iPhone since they came out, and by George, we got em. And it is as spiffy and groovy as I thought it would be. The funny part, in a not so funny kind of way, is that the functionality that I ached for - being able to check e-mail, facebook, websites, without detection, is an unnecessary thing now. My current employers don’t give a shit where I go to, as long as I get the job done. But it’s good to have the capabilities with GPS. I’ve already used it once …..while on my bike…. and no, you are not allowed to laugh.
• The Job - so I think I already stated that I took the job with the laid-back solar company. If you got creative, you could figure out which one it is, suffice to say, I love it. It’s so fucking busy that I get there  and I get to 11 or 12 and realize I haven’t finished my coffee, my apple or all the phone calls I need to make. Laid back is not EVEN close to the truth there, but for all their laid back ways, they are very serious about the business. There is also a shop dog - Brutus, who is a springer spaniel. He’s my work boyfriend. Overall it’s really unorganized (which is why I got hired), laid back, bike friendly, and the easiest commute of my life. And the people, I love the people so far. I think a few of them could become good friends. I can tell you, there is a lot of laughter, a lot of lenienacy, and a lot of responsiblity, but I love it. It feels very strange to work somewhere where I don’t have to hide my tats, I can wear my big-ass earrings and no one says a thing. Did I mention the shop-dog?
• Biking - I have biked to work, and got lost trying to come home. Yes, only me. Suck it. I can’t bike this week due to the monthly rebellion of my uterus, but I will get back in the saddle shortly.
• I’m on Googlemaps - if you google my address, go down my side street, you will see me sitting on the porch, smoking. It’s from last summer. Just to make sure, I had Streetview slide down the street a little further, and sure as shit, there was our car. I don’t know why, but it amused me.
• The Green Microgym - I joined a gym, but one with a special twist. Go to the link, and you will see what I mean. It’s about 20 blocks from the house, an easy bike ride, and I plan on taking advantage of their REALLY killer hours. The Owner, Adam, was super nice and very excited about the battery systems on the bikes. When I told him I worked for a solar company, we kind of geeked out about watts and whatnot. I’m a total dork, but I thought it was right to support a local business trying to make a difference. Besides, I got in on the introductory deal and my membership is less than 30 bucks a month for the life of the membership. How can I go wrong?
• Smoking - Yes, you can be proud of me. But I still wish I had a clove, especially when I drink.

I am going to sleep now. Sweet dreams little world. Keep the good thoughts flowing.

Monday - Job interview in Beaverton, so it’s going to be a lot further than I would like to travel for a job, but if I can make most of it via public transit, that would make me happy. D also has an interview - at the exact same time. I goofed on this one, as he was going to take the car. But we are going to work it out, we always do.

Tuesday - Valentine to the vet. I am very much not looking forward to this. I’m still quite freaked out by the idea of surgery.

Wednesday - Lex gets back from CO. I need to get up to Tacoma. There’s a lot to talk about.

Thursday - I’m sure there’s something I should be doing, but I’m not sure what it is.

Friday - Well, it’s friday - that means movies, wine and long conversations. I love Fridays.

Right now I’m reading my mentor’s book - Fear in a Handful of Dust: Horror as a Way of Life. It’s put a lot of things into perspective for me, and makes me admire him more. He’s got a great sense of self when writing, and his humor has made me laugh out loud. It’s kind of what I saw when Calie and I hung out with him at the hotel on his last night at Res, but the book, well it explains things a bit more.

and now, I think I need to scrounge up a snack. I’m starving.

The Bride of Chucky is going to be on AMC. Doesn’t this seem wrong to you?

I spent most of last night playing with Soundstudio, stringing together a few songs for my run. I bought this book years ago, and have had many aborted attempts at getting a running program started for myself. And I love D - what ever I needed, he was willing to get. I have great shoes. I have a lovely Nano. I’ve got a sportsbra that makes the girls look good. But the one thing I had a hard time with was the intervals. I’m supposed to run (it’s the beginning of the program…. so don’t laugh), for 30 seconds and then walk  for a minute, and I do that for half an hour. I know, it sounds kind of lame, but I really think it worked the last few times I tried it. The reason I quit running - getting up early in the morning. I’ve grown really insecure about my body, so I spent most of the last year refusing to do anything outside of the house for fear of the horror I would inflict on others.

“Is that an elephant, or a hippo running down the sidewalk?”

“I think that thunder! Oh no, it’s just that wheezy, red-faced slob running. Hope she has earthquake insurance.”

Silly, yeah I know, but it’s just what I deal with.

That being said, it’s hard to time yourself when you are supposed to be running. I tried using a stop watch to time myself, but I ended up tripping over my feet or a curb (and I had a near miss with a light post). The solution, because I’m fucking brilliant, was to throw a switch queue in the appropriate places of various songs. The result - 45.4 minutes of: Coldplay, Ladytron, Underworld, Fluke, Nelly Furtado, a song from Oceans 12 (when the Fox goes through the laser maze), Outkast, and a song from the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack. The queue is from a song called, of all things, “Switch” and of course it’s D&B. All in all, I am pretty pleased with it. I forced myself to warm up with the Coldplay song, and the rest of the time I varied the run time from 30 seconds to 1 full minute. It’s not sticking exactly to plan, but I thought it would be good to challenge myself a little. And once I get “used” to this runsong, I will make another, because I noticed that I started to slow down in anticipation of the switch with the last runsong I made.

So, when will I run? Tonight. If I put on my sneakers, the dogs go apeshit (or would that be beagleshit?), so it’s easier for the whole family if D accompanies me with the dogs. Puck just can’t run like that anymore. Pip will be amazing to run with, but trying to seperate the “pack” makes him a little nervous.

But right now, I have to figure out what’s for dinner…. and get some reading done.