Moody Meow

Liberal, lunatic lassie, with mood swings and foot-in-mouth syndrome

Bedbugs, Cancers, and Listening to Fans

My darling, wonderful brother had a rash all over his body a few months ago. This is only notable because he hates taking pills. The dork actually chewed penicillin as a kid, and to take an aspirin, my mom would soften it and then cover it in chocolate (I loved that). We chatted on the [...]

Cleaning House – The Drafts Addition

I have spent every New Year cleaning up the drafts section in WordPress, dumping the incomplete thoughts and half finished blogs in one, very long, post. I neglected to do that last year, and so here they are – the crumbs of the past, incomplete rants and raves, the drafts. They span the time all [...]

170 lbs of shame

We didn’t have our normal Biggest Loser workout. The show was delayed because of the stupid Blazers game. I hate professional sports. I always have, and for reasons like that – they ruin my shows. That and, wouldn’t it be more entertaining to go out and PLAY the fucking sport yourself? Instead you sit and [...]

French braids, cereal and flies and being crazy…

Flies have taken over my house. They glide and buzz through the air like small, drunk buses – thunking into my paper lanterns and computer screens. One landed on D’s face last night and I almost puked. He and I have become quite skilled in fly-killing. I try not to kill any bugs, I really [...]

I’m wearing a braid and a sweater

We had a lovely break in the gray for the past few days. The weatherpeople even predicted sun for the weekend. They were wrong, of course. I woke to dark skies. Living here has changed my appreciatation for the blue of the sky and how sunlight feels when it’s unfiltered by high clouds or blocked [...]

Thanks for the tofurkey

I’m quite down, so let me start off apoligizing for the tone of this post. It’s kind of shitty that i’ve not blogged daily, and when I do, it’s one full of unecessary sadness, but that’s the way of my life right now. Let’s just blame it on the holidaze.  Since the birth of my [...]

Protected: The inevetiable questions

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Where I tell the truth

I’m out of meds, and as of a few weeks ago, I haven’t had anything in my system. I try to go to sleep with Benadryl and a beer (or three) and I end up fighting my brain until 6 in the morning, when exhausted, I finally fall asleep to the sound of hectic traffic. [...]

Hopes and Orange Juice

In another nonsensical episode of “This is Erica’s Life!” we discuss the hopes and dreams in Portland, the longing for a particular house and the joys of orange juice. Brought to you by Stress, Gray Hair and Irritable Personality Disorder. We now return to our regularly scheduled madness. Cat’s going to look at a house [...]

Because… she is proud of me

I had my last visit with the shrink. She seemed startled to see me, perhaps she didn’t recognize my name on the chart. The tattoo usually a good reminder We talked about why I hadn’t been back in so long, and where I am with my meds and my health. I honestly forgot to call [...]

Eye — dee — errrs….

I’ve been digging through my imagination for an idea for the first peice I am writing for Seton Hill. In order to get us familiar with the process, we are submitting a short work (I think 5 pages) to the critique group before we meet in June. I’m assuming that I am supposed to come [...]

Protected: What it feels like

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

the license to whine

I know it has to be exhausting to hear my constant whine, and my own plaintive tone irritates bugs me. But I find that I can’t find the space to be calm right now. D and I talked about weaning me off my meds. It sounds like a good idea initially. I feel like I [...]

Resurrection Fern

I feel down today. Work sucks. I get very angry when my efforts are discounted. I have a midterm that I am nervous about. The weight of the move is starting to strangle me, but I know all of this negative energy is generated by my mood issues. To make myself happy, I am going [...]

But but but….

D’s off today. I’m working. No conversation about my abrupt departure from work on Friday. The silence is good for me. It gives me room to breathe. It was damn cold this morning, and I kept waking up to check the time so that I could get up for my run. This resulted in a [...]

Mental health problems

I have a mental illness. I am manic depressive. And when it comes to coverage by my insurance company, if I have a full-on breakdown and require hospitalization, I will get only 10 days of paid in-facility treatment in my lifetime. Ten days, kids. When I had a staph infection, I was in the hospital [...]

From good to bad

Yesterday I was sick. Both mentally and physically. I left work in a huff over something very stupid and got home, cried, and felt like crap. I am realizing that there are physical manifestations of my manic depression, and they usually include a sour stomach (almost puking kind of tummy) and a mind rattling headache. [...]

I think I like coffee

I really wanted a coffee last night, right around 8. Bad idea. Mania has plagued me for days and adding coffee just would have prolonged the effect. Or even worse , upped the effects, where I live in a world of run-on sentences and lots of commas but absolutely no periods or semicolons because that’s [...]

Things that make you go yum

I am in high fluctuation mode. Yes, I am hormonal. Yes, I know that’s why I am one big, sensitive bruise that cries at one misunderstood look. But, apples in salads make me happy. I am having a romaine, carrots (I love raw carrots), cheese (part of a stringy cheese stick), broccoli and apple salad [...]

Just another manic Monday

I wanted to sleep last night. I needed it. Instead, I tossed and turned and tried to get into my favorite position (on my stomach one leg straight and the other bent and horizontal with my hip), and then I flipped onto my back and stared at the dark ceiling. Soft sounds, haunting and full [...]

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