Moody Meow

The last final is over….and I am relieved
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My boys, they are not the outdoors type. They are more the “laying on the couch till Mommy feeds them carrots and then crawls back into the fluffy bed for another 3 hour nap” type.
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It was sitting on the porch, next to the full ashtray and my lighter. The white chair, her favorite, was sitting where she left it. I felt my stomach flip, and realized I was sad.
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The phonecall, initiated yesterday, left me sleepless last night. But I napped this morning, with both beagles, and for the first time since I quit CRG, I slept well.
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The afternoon rain nourishes my butterfly plants, and the boys are snoring softly….
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My mother is coming! My mother is coming!
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I am in love….really… I am!
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I should be working on homework…but…
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I want to see this movie.

Frustratuion and pressure pound into me, leaving me groggy and sleepless. My brain is on overdrive, but stopping to stare at leaves seems to help matters a bit.
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Her voice, hurried, pounded it into me. “You need to be able to interview this afternoon! After 4, maybe around 5:30.” And I thought to myself “What business person in their right mind would start an interview at 5:30?
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You have to love Doug…it’s just essential…
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Damn those plans we made. The expectations we keep in clutched fingers that dare not let go…damn them all
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I will be honest. I’m not happy with where I am at. It’s more than location. I have not hid the fact that I have outgrown Florida and all its strange ways. There is something inside that calls to be let loose, but I don’t know how. So I choke the feeling down, get frustrated, and take it out on myself in internal ways.
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Sometimes it’s the mundane things that matter.
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I love the sound of rain falling down on the porch. It’s musical, the random cadence of nature. I’m very lucky, very.
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This is a two part story. The tale of yesterday and today, for there is much more than a sunset that seperates them. The shift, one that turned the tide within the rumbling oceam of my self confidence, has happened, and with the cessation of life from one body may have come the wake up call that allowed me to take an opportunity by the balls….perhaps…
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I think it is my new favorite. You can slice ‘em. You can saute ‘em. I just don’t like them raw.
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Lemon poppy seed bunt cakes. Little. Yummy. And he delivered them to our door with a smile and “welcome to the neighborhood”…
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So after day 3 I realize that this may not necessarily be the right thing for me…everyone there is so damn young. It’s almost embarrassing….
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